Justin and Kristin

In the Walls Within My Head: Thought 0019

Redundant......Redundant......Redundant......Redundant

The phrase I use most during the day and in which I am so downright sick of:

"LEAVE YOUR SISTER ALONE!"

 

This statement applies mostly to Cadence "playing" with Nouvelle, but is also consistently used in all it's sisterly combinations.

 

These three get along as well as any young siblings could be expected to (and in some ways maybe even better than the "norm"), and they make wonderful friends; but for now I wish I could just go one day without saying,

"Leave your sister alone!"

I swear if I have to say it one more time I'm going to lose it!!

 

Anyone else feel the way I feel, or is there a particular phrase you get tired of repeating, over, and over, and over, and over and over and ......

In The Walls Within My Head: Thought 0018

 

Picky Eating and Particularities

I don't consider myself too much of a picky eater. Thank goodness my kids aren't very picky either. I don't know if that is because we did something right as parents, or it's just a huge stroke of good luck. I have heard that some food aversions can actually be tracked back to DNA, so who really knows! I've had friends I definitely consider picky eaters (you know who you are!). And there are some weird particularities out there as well: no fruit with bread - I have more than one friend with this one!! Weird. No peanut butter and chocolate. What? That has to be some kind of sin. Eating your food in a particular order...um OCD?

 Life is so much more pleasant with kids who are great eaters! Here's my kids trying calimari and LOVING it!!!

But as far as any "pickiness" and "particularities" are considered, there are one or two things that each member of my family should never be served.

Justin: Food Aversion - Squash, coconut, fishy tasting fish; Particularity - No warm pineapple on pizza

Kristin: Food Aversion - Raw tomatoes, canned corn, fishy tasting fish; Particularity - No "fake" mashed potatoes on Thanksgiving, it's got to be the real thing!

Sage: Food Aversion - It was chocolate, but now it's raw tomatoes (go figure!? And I promise that is totally unsolisted on my part); Particularity - won't eat fruit snacks if the top of the package isn't completely torn off

Cadence: Food Aversion - Mustard (which is more of a paradox than you know considering when I was her age I used to eat mustard on just about anything - yes bananas and ice cream included); Particularity - insists on eating adult size portions of anything pasta

Nouvelle: Food Aversion - So far there isn't anything the little chubbers won't eat; Particularity - Milk must be the perfectly warm temperature

 

So what doesn't suit your fancy? Anything you really just could never force yourself to eat or some weird food eating particularity you possess?

In the Walls Within My Head: Thought 0017

 

Hate

I've always thought this was a very strong word and have generally been very cautious in using it.

When it comes to nouns *person, place, or thing* there are very few I hate. I can honestly say there are only a very small number of people I have ever hated, and not many paces or things I hate. Usually I hate things more like personality traits, characteristics or peoples choices.

However, I can say that there is one thing (a *noun*) right now in my life that I absolutely hate, detest, loathe, abhor.......

I hate my house.

I have everything about it. I hate that we have to share a wall with someone (Though duplex living is probably better than living above or below someone). I hate the front door with its huge crack in it that our rental guy told us to just to cover up with duct tape (Seriously? How white trash can you get?). I hate that  said rental guy never comes and fixes anything we need; even after calling incessantly for weeks - months! I hate the hard wood floors that they laminated unevenly along with all the dust and grime underneath. I hate the dirt/dust balls that the hard wood floor leaves behind. I hate that our bathroom is the size of a broom closet with old disgusting blue tiles that always looks dirty no matter how hard we scrub and clean them. I hate the "new" windows they put in that still leak freezing cold air into our home in the winter and hot humid air in the summer. I hate that backdoor that doesn't even have a threshold because it's rotted away and we've been waiting for a new one for over a year and a half. I hate that I can't use half of our electric outlets because they are so old they won't even hold a plug. I hate how all the grass is dying around our house. I hate how the front screen door handle has to be punched to actually open. I hate how the third bedroom can barely be considered the size of a bedroom at all. I hate that there is virtually no sound insulation and you can hear someone in the basement all the way upstairs at just a talking level (nap-time is a nightmare). I hate that we can smell whenever our neighbor smokes (pot include). I hate that there is no air conditioning. I hate.....well you get the idea.

I seriously can't think of one redeemable attribute of our home except that my wonderful family lives here with me. They brighten the space with their energy, cheer it with their personalities, and make it complete with the memories of life we are creating here.

 

Maybe it's just the perpetual winter months getting me down....nah. I've hated this place from the moment we moved in. I'm allowed to be honest right? I'm not expected to be positive and find a bright side to everything am I? It just sucks 'cause to hate where you live and spend at least 90% of your time is quite a drag.

I'm so looking forward to one day (please soon, please soon, please soon) having our own place again; preferably in a location we want to stay forever.

 

So on this note, let's allow ourselves a moment of negativity......anything you really HATE!?

In The Walls Within My Head: Thought 0016

 

Sinus Congestion

 

....um yeah. I got nothin' else.

See you in a few, when this lifts hopefully!

In The Walls Within My Head: Thought 0015

 

Time

It can be your friend or your enemy, your asset or your greatest burden. It may elude you or consume you, excite you or scare you. But one thing is for sure, you have exactly as much as you have - everyday; you can never get more or give any of it away. There are no super breeds out there who are granted more than anyone else; You have just the same amount as everyone else. What you do with it is your choice.

On days like the last 30-50 have been, I have wished that there were actually less than 24 hours in a day. Maybe if the days were just a bit shorter then spring would come just a bit sooner. 

But generally (when not dealing with 60+ inches of snow in a month-or-so's worth of time) I wish I just had a few more hours in the day. Sometimes I need those hours to get just a little bit more done. But most of the time it's so that I could have a tad more time to myself, without the demands of motherhood, therapist, wife, etc. I'm not asking for a lot, just 2-3 more hours is all.

I think that a 26-27 hour day would be perfect.

What do you think would be the ideal hours in a day?

In The Walls Within My Head: Thought 0014

Seat-belt Law

Recently we received the horrible news that our brother-in-law was in a car accident due to a seizure he had while driving. He was very fortunate to not be injured more than he was. This was especially true since, by some out-of-the-norm reason his seat-belt wasn't on. But get this, as he is lying in the hospital that day, the police officer who had responded to the accident felt compelled to pay him a visit. No not a social call, not a get-well wish, not a check up on him to see if he even survived the crash at all (since he was completely unconscious as the ambulance took him away) -- Oh no. It wasn't for any of that. He showed up at the hospital and promptly wrote him a ticket for "Failure to wear a seat-belt!" 

You've got to be kidding me right?

No, unfortunately I'm not. This is one of the stories that proves there are still heartless, power hungry, complete @$$ #*!$ out there in the world. I mean what kind of person does that?

Justin's thought was, "Isn't his near death accident payment enough?"

It got me thinking, that the seat-belt law is kind of lame. I get it as far as passengers in your car and children are concerned; but really if I want to risk my life by not wearing my seat-belt shouldn't I have the right to do that? We don't out law smoking (and this actually is something that harms those besides the smoker). Not wearing my seat-belt doesn't affect anyone but myself. And horribly enough I now own one of those cars that beeps obnoxiously if I don't wear my seat belt - even on a two block drive to my friends house.

Don't get me wrong, I am a pretty strict seat-belt wearer, but it's the principle of the thing that bugs me.

Any laws like that for you that you feel like sharing with me?

In The Walls Within My Head: Thought 0013

What Do You Want to be When You Grow Up?

When I was 12 years old I had a school assignment. I was to make a book all about me. It was called:

One part of the assignment was to write about where I saw my self in the year 2002. This is what I wrote:

So funny, that even way back then, I already knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. More or less I've achieved that goal. And actually in my opinion I went one level higher because, as any social worker knows, psychologists are a bit weird (no offense to any psychologists out there!). And true to form I really do like my adolescent clients a lot. Adults do get "too stressed out too easily."

Some other goals I listed in this assignment were:

1. to be a mom

2. to be a psychologist

3. to be on the track team

Hmmmm

{check}

{check}

and 

{check}

At the young age of 12 I actually already had a clear picture of who I was. And I have really been able to live my life true to that! I don't know about you but I think that is so cool! Way to go me.

 

So, what cool things did you want to be/do when you grew up - whether achieved or not?

 

On a comedic side note:

The last page of my assignment was:

WHAT MAKES ME LAUGH

I stated "Polock Jokes!"

Ok so my childhood self was a bit racist. The funny thing about it is....well I married a Polock!!! I mean his real name should be Justin Marczewski after all, right? No really, it should.

 

In The Walls Within My Head: Thought 0012

True Friends

I've never had the need to be popular (though I think at some points in my life some people would have said I was). It's never been a big deal to me to belong to a certain group of friends. I have always just found the individual person that I wanted to be friends with and then I was. If they happened to belong to the same group of friends, or a certain "group" well, whatever. All that mattered to me was who they were and what kind of friend they were.  

Also, I've never needed a lot of friends. I have, however, always wanted/needed just a few really close friends. Even as young as my elementary school years; I just wanted that one or two special friends that I could really count on. Now don't get me wrong. I don't want to paint myself as a friend snob. I have always been very nice and friendly with everyone. But as far as really, TRULY being friends with someone, in a way that I feel is what true friends should be like (deep, vulnerable, meaningful); I only need a few. And to be that kind of friend takes time and energy, which you cannot dedicate to that many people. I guess you could say, in MY OPINION, I like to focus on QUALITY of friendship as opposed to QUANTITY of friendship. 

I'm not claiming my way is the right way. I know that there are people out there completely opposite of me that want MANY friends, but not necessarily close and deep ones. If that works for them that is fine. It's just not me. and I wouldn't make a good friend to them nor would they too me because our expectations would be just too different.

Once I hit High School most of my friends were guys (Yep - I was just one of the guys ). And then most of my closest friends ended up being my boyfriends. If we take the boyfriends out of the picture, I have had some great friends through the years.  With some we still remain close, while with others life and time have taken us in different directions: But one thing remains true for all of these friends; they all provided me with fond memories of friendship throughout different times in my life.

 

 

Holly Hohenshelt

 

 

Steve Barnes ("Stephen David Barnes the First")

 

 

Charyce Brown (best sister/friend/roommate you could have when you go off to college)

 

Kelly Bird

 

 

Wendy Anderson

 

 

Missy Crisafulli

 

 

Racheal  and Andy Hemmert

 

Justin Marshall

I know it should go without saying but he has been my best-friend for over 7 years (this picture was taken after we'd been friends for just over a year) and we have an eternity ahead of us, so I figured he deserved to be mentioned.

 

A friend to me is someone who:

Sees you for who you really are, doesn't judge you, and accepts every single part of you.

Can always make you laugh and helps you keep perspective on life.

Guides you through the challenges and changes of life, and is an example to you of someone you want to become.

Gives unconditional love, genuine caring and concern, and a sensitive heart.

"Gets" you unlike anyone else. Loves your unique qualities and even appreciates your quirky idiosyncrasies. Completely 100% reliable. Would do just about anything for you. Is there through all the good times, and remains there just the same through all the bad.

Encourages you and believes in you -sometimes even more than you do in yourself. Pushes you to be better. Allows you to help and serve them in return. Even if a good amount of time elapses between contact, it's always like you never were apart when you see/talk to them again.

They are completely easy to talk to and be yourself around. You can share your inner-most thoughts, feelings, fears, hopes, disappointments, etc. with them and know they won't look at you differently but just love you all the more. They in return are completely honest with you - even at the chance of hurting your feelings - but they know if they do you'll still love them anyway.

Someone as committed to you as you are to them. You can be completely honest with them, and not ever wear a mask or facade. They would do anything for your benefit - we're talking everything from selfless sacrifice to changing your poopy diaper if you had one.

 

Some people in the past have told me that I have too high of expectations of friendship. I suppose that's ok. The few that are able to live up to these things completely, are the friends that are completely worth the time and energy that was dedicated to creating that.

Like I said I don't need a ton of really close friends....just a few.

And so what about for you?

 

What is a true friend?

In the Walls Within My Head: Thought 0011

Costumes

I've mentioned this on my blog before, but thought I would mention again how much I love Halloween. So by default I have the firm belief that someone is never too old to dress up for Halloween. I really believe in keeping a youthful spirit for as long as possible. Sometimes I wonder if I embrace that spirit a little too much, as at times I feel even more immature than some of the 20-some odd-year old mothers I'm around.

But truly keeping as many child-like attributes (not to be confused with child-ISH) is key to keeping life full of joy, adventure and spontaneity.

Just wondering how you would complete this sentence;

Someone is never too old to__________________.

In the Walls Within My Head: Thought 0009

Horn

I've stated before that I totally believe in using your horn while driving. What I think would make the driving world better though is having a happy horn and an angry horn.

You know happy horn would be for saying things like, "The light is green", or "Thanks see you later", or "Oops I'm right here" or "Go ahead"

Angry horn would be for things like "What in the #@!% do you think  you're doing!?" or "IDIOT!"

You get the idea?

Do you have any fun driving inventions?

In the Walls Within My Head: Thought 0008

Raisins and Nuts

I like snacking on raisins and nuts from time to time. I totally think they are delicious foods. I don't however, think they should ever, EVER be baked or cooked in anything (well unless it's Jacy's homemade fudge).

What food do you not like to bake with?

In the Walls Within My Head: Thought 0007

Massachusetts Code 89-4B

Our first week after moving to Boston we were freaked out when driving on the freeway and cars were passing us on the shoulder of the road. We thought that Bostonians were just crazy! Then we found out that this is actually a law here that during certain times of the day the shoulder is a legitimate driving lane.

Now that I know this, I drive in the shoulder lane whenever I can, just because I can.

Is there something that you do, not always out of necessity, but just 'cause you can?

In the Walls Within My Head: Thought 0006

Shock Value

I believe in saying words or phrases for shock value. This helps me see who I can really be friends with. I like friends who are able to handle/appreciate my little bit of rawness, slight crudeness and sacrilegiousness, as well as my lack of complete censorship.

What is something you have said just for the sake of shock value? Or was there anything I said that really shocked you?

In the Walls Within My Head: Thought 0005

Hair

I'm not a particularly squeamish person, and I consider myself someone who can "rough it". I can go camping in the dirt and mud, have grime under my nails for days, pee squatting over a toilet dug in the ground, sleep on a stained sidewalk in the middle of an unfamiliar city, have bugs crawl on my food and still eat it, go without a shower, or makeup, or blow-dryer, etc. etc. But there is one totally normal thing that really I can't stand.

Hair. It's disgusting.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm fine with hair that is attached to a person. What I don't like is hair once the follicles give way and leave the body. 

Unless it is attached to your body - hair is disgusting.

I hate hair. I know it may be weird, but it just seems to be one of the grossest things out there. Even my own hair grosses me out. I hate it on the bathroom floor, on the back of my shirt, in the bath tub and in the drain, in the sink, even in my brush (which I religiously clean out after every use), in food (Gross!), anywhere once it detaches from your body (and let's face it there are even place on your body hair shouldn't grow - but that's an other post entirely).

 

Please share with me your weird (or maybe not so weird) source of creepy-crawlies - maybe it will help me feel not so "crazy."

In the Walls Within My Head: Thought 0004

Chop Sticks

I have a weird little belief; If you are eating Asian you need to eat with chopsticks. No question. Come on people! If little Asian kids can do it, certainly you, a full grown adult, can learn to eat with those wooden sticks!

And, honestly, doesn't using chopsticks make the food taste that much better and more authentic?

Is there any particular food eating ritual you adhere to?

In the Walls Within My Head: Thought 0003

Support Your Band

I think that everyone should see their favorite band in concert at least once in their life.

I have.

Have you?

Who is your favorite band?

 

Some of my favorites I've seen in concert: Dave Mathews Band, The Fray, Switchfoot, Guster, and Barenaked Ladies

 

 

***Side Note***

I am hoping to put these "thought provoking" posts out every Monday. Your comments are what I'll look forward to, to get me through the week! What that means is If you read my post you need to comment. Yes I am talking to YOU! All of you - even those of you who think you can just read my blog and move on! Come on, I try to make the post short, concise and to the point. Take a moment and share with me. 

In the Walls Within My Head: Thought 0002

Captain Crunch Berries Cereal

There is no replacement for this. This cannot and SHOULD NOT ever attempted to be replaced with a generic or imitation brand. This rule should also apply to:

• Slurpees
• Oreos
• Nilla Wafers
• A company with a good return policy
• Cetaphil Lotion
• Red Vines
• Garmin
• Oxy Clean
• Gaufres (what a real Belgian waffle is)
• French baguettes and pastries
• Mac
• Salon Brand Shampoo
• European Chocolate

What do you think belongs on this list?

In the Walls Within My Head: Thought 0001

Hot Chocolate

With another Bostonian winter looming before me I'm dreading the potential solitude that comes from the winter months. With iced over streets, snowed in cars, three kids to get in then out then in then out of a car (is the errand even worth the effort?), "Merry"-Go-Rounds of illness/quarantines, and all the other challenges of winter that I struggle dealing with - the reality is that very soon I may just become a winter hermit and no one will see or hear from me until the frost melts away for good. 

But I do dread the withdrawal of human interaction. These past 4 days dealing with ill stricken children has been a frightful reminder of the loneliness, boredom, and isolation that is enough to drive me crazy. With this in mind I'm searching for a way to connect with a human being during the day who's vocabulary extends beyond "I just went potty mommy!" "She took my toy!!" and "Waaaaahhh!!!" 

So now here you go, it's up to you to help me feel connected and survive these cold, LONG winter months. I know not all of you make comments on my blog, but now is your chance. Periodically I will be sharing posts of my mostly random and somewhat meaningless thoughts, opinions, etc. on the world according to me. I will want your feedback, your own opinions, thoughts, etc. You may disagree with me. That's ok! Let me know! I like to think I'm a fairly open minded individual. Or you may have a thought that's never occurred to me before. I'll need to know that too. Sometimes, I may just need to know I'm not crazy for thinking or feeling something.

So please, if I can't motivate myself to get out of the house in the -20 degree weather to get to know you, then help me get to know you at least here, in the comfort of our individual homes. So grab a cup of hot chocolate, sit yourself down and enjoy this getting to know each other activity.

You can start by telling me what your favorite type of instant cocoa is. Mine is Stephen's Chocolate Mint Truffle (even though "real" hot chocolate has to be a European chocolate bar melted down with some milk). Mmmmm.