Justin and Kristin

When the Hearts Not in It

A little while ago Justin and I had another race. I must admit I had been overwhelmed with an immense amount of DREAD just thinking of doing this race. It was "just" a 5k, so what was my problem? The problem was that this race would be run on or near to the exact same course we ran back in January. And though that was "just" a 5k as well, it was one of the hardest races I've done; as I pushed my body beyond any threshold I knew I had.

The dread only intensified as I came down with a nasty cold the week before the race, only then to be magnified by the fact that the day before the race I was scheduled to do a 22 mile long run! *UG* I did NOT want to run this race. All of my despondent thinking was only supported by Justin's same sense of dread and apathy towards the race. 

But race day came, and almost completely out of a sense of obligation, we woke up early, left the kids with a babysitter, and made the drive in the cold pouring rain to the race that was to be run on grass and dirt* on a "hilly and challenging course".

*aka slippery turf and muddy muck of potential injury.

 

 

Out of shear need to avoid complete torture, I held back a bit- having my main goal just to participate in and finish this race. I still gave a very good effort, considering. The course was very difficult but beautiful. I should have felt more "proud" or excited about my results than I was; seeing as I placed second overall females and first in my age division, but I was still just feeling *EH* about the whole thing. Justin did amazing as well, considering he shared my  same sentiments. His time improved, as well as his ranking among the men and came in 5th in his age division! He didn't even dry heave this time! :) Though we did amazing, I was really just relieved that it was over and not hanging over my head any more! 

I know that this all probably sounds horrible - especially coming from someone who loves running so much! But I think that most every runner has days/races that are not the best or the most thrilling for them. To me, doing this race was definitely physical training, but more so mental/emotional training. Experiences like this are about refining our ability to do something even when we don't want to, and pushing through even when there seemed to be numerous things stacked "against" us. It's about enduring even when it's hard, or our hearts are not in it; A lesson that can be applied to many aspects of life. We don't just give up when we don't want something any more. We see it through, do the best we can in that moment, and strive to turn the corner back into a more hopeful, enthusiastic, joyful, fulfilling place.

Uninspired

February was an uninspiring month for me.

Not that February did anything in particular this year to piss me off, drain my creativity or stifle my spirit. It just...well...let's just say that February is like the scapegoat in the family. Everything bad gets blamed on February. And to be honest, it usually doesn't do a whole lot to prove otherwise. Most years February just plain sucks. For being the shortest month of the year it, more often than not, it seems to feel like the longest. This year though, February tried to redeem itself from last year (and to give credit where credit is due; actually did a mighty fine job). But for some odd reason I still found myself a bit hum drum this last month. Maybe I was just spending my energy preparing for the worst that February could potentially hand out, only to find that February was quite pleasant after all.

None the less, here I am having survived March coming in like a lion, and wishing I'd done more blogging in February. Because really, besides the one whole week of puke fest we had in February, the rest of the month offered some pretty great moments.

But onward I move, hoping that March doesn't throw us any weird surprises. But then again, March has kind of been known as a loose cannon, so anything is possible right?

The end of February Justin ran the half marathon he has been training for. He went into it a bit discourage and somewhat pessimistic. He'd caught the sick bug at the tail end of the rest of us, and February was a crazy month at work so his training suffered a bit. Essentially he threw most of his hopes and goals for this race out the window and basically ran it out of duty. Or principle. Or maybe just because I told him he didn't have my permission to woose out. He braved a frigid cold day (at least it was a sunny frigid day) with some strong winds and gave it the best he had. Apparently he hadn't fallen as far behind as he thought because he PR'ed as well as beat his original goal for this race. He left feeling very good about his time, his performance, and his efforts. What more can you ask for?

 A week later it was my turn. I had trained really hard, put in my time, made my sacrifices (i.e. early COLD mornings, pace runs with the double jogging stroller while still recovering from the flu, lots of miles, treadmill runs...you get the idea). But I was feeling pretty ambivalent about my race. I didn't know what to expect from the distance, nor what was a realistic goal. I wasn't feeling all that excited to race again either (to be honest I think that the marathon back in October and the 5k in January both have left me a bit traumatized). But I came up with what I thought was a reasonable goal for a 20 mile race. Then just to give me a little window to work with I used my pace calculator to give me bit more of an ambitious goal. I supposed somewhere between the two would be ideal.

I thought the crappiest thing about this race would be the fact that not only was it an out and back race, but it was a double out and back because of the 10 mile racers running at the same time. Ug. I was surprised that the only slightly discouraging part was hitting half way and realizing I had to do everything I'd just done all over again. But the out and back part actually broke the race down into smaller more attainable milestones. Plus Justin got to just pick a spot at mile 3 and stay there the entire race and I ran by there 4 times! It made spectating with three small children a lot easier than it normally is!

I was grateful that I didn't suffer with anything during this race besides just major fatigue and a small mental game around mile 17 to keep pushing harder all the way to the end. I came through the finish line WAY before both goals with a time that I would have thought unattainable for a 20 mile race! Oh and an age placement award as well! :)  I was proud of myself and my efforts to race the course and myself, giving it my all. I think though that soon again I need to run a race just "for fun." Is that possible any more? Would I really let myself hold back? Hmmm. Maybe it's worth the experiment!

 

"Runners Are Wild"

Since the beginning of the year we've managed to get two races in already! Yes we've been busy! :) It's turned out that these races have been key in kick starting my butt back into "training" mode. Not that I have a ton of races planned or anything officially, but it's good to have some bit of specific running "expectations." That way I don't just always go out the door with a big question mark hanging over my head as far as distance or speed (though that had it's enjoyment for awhile as well). 

The first race (in honor of the new year) we did as a family with strollers and all. Nothing like trying to run a race pushing a double stroller half the way, not to mention into coastal head winds! We had a blast though, which is most important! We even managed to finish respectably given our "stroller" challenge (How's 7:08 min miles for 4 miles?)! Really I don't know how many more races we'll be able to do with the strollers! These kids are getting so heavy!

I thinks it's kind of funny though. Everyone at the starting line was trying to make sure they were in front of us. I even heard one guy say there was no way he was going to get stuck behind us! I remember passing him even before we even hit mile one, and he became just one of the 705 people we finished in FRONT of! I think we placed like 65th overall! So there! :) We're no wussie jogggers her folks! We're hard core runners! We're wild!! :)

It was a beautiful day. Sunny and crisp! A great way to ring in a new year!

 

Next was a trail race.

My first official trail race. Now this wasn't some ultra marathonish, up a major mountain, extreme hard-core trail race, but even in it's "novice" trail race-ism it still completely kicked my butt! A "hilly and challenging course" with both single and double tracks.  Heaven's to Betsy!  I thought I was going to have a heart-attack the entire race! Here's an image of one of the many short steep hills.

There were some long steep hills, and some of these short steep ones. No I did not walk. Not once. That is what I'm most proud of. The single track lasted a few miles and was challenging. There was virtually no passing unless someone in front of you was kind of enough to step aside for a moment. Around mile 2 a few people did just that. I'm sure they were a little less than please to see that I was a girl. The single track puts a lot of pressure on you not only keep up with the guy in front of you but more so not to hold up the guy behind. It really challenged and pushed my limits.

There were definitely more than a few curse words spewn from my mouth as I pushed my body beyond what I thought it was capable of.

"Runners are wild....running is anything but civilized. Just look at the faces of the first five guys [or girls] to cross the line at any 10k. Not exactly the kind of expression you can wear to a dinner party." -PearlIzumi

I rest my case.

Not the most attractive photo of me. The spit that I didn't have enough breath to launch further than the front of my shirt. The panting exhale of my breathing. The tension in my body. And the pain and exhaustion all over my face.

The look of a woman running the last .25 miles to her FIRST-place OVERALL women finish! 

Though I don't expect to keep this overall winning standard I seem to have set for myself, it was a fun and exhilarating - not to mention, agonizing and excruciating, start to the year!

 

I have to mention that Justin kept up amazingly well, and finished third in his age division - the best he's ever done - even despite the two dry-heaving spells he had along the way! So dignified!

Yep running is definitely ANYTHING but civilized! Part of the reason I love it so much!

Nothing Like Dilapidation

Like my previous post stated while my bro Nick was in town we were able to go out for a photo shoot. I have fun shooting him 'cause he doesn't need much direction, he holds still, and is patient with me while I find better lighting, cooler backgrounds, and fix my camera settings.

For years I've been driving past a certain dilapidated building on my way to and from work. Everytime I see it I have just felt drawn to capture some sort of life in front of it's baren backdrop. I don't know, it just seems poetic and artistic to me in some way.

I was glad for a willing participant to ignore the "No Tresspassing" signs and sneek a few shots before we couldn't risk leaving ourselves to the cops any longer. :)

 

Here's a few of my favorites.

For more from this photo shoot click HERE

 

 

 

 

Trottin' Little Turkeys

We were so excited to know that my brother Nick was going to come for Thanksgiving. Sage couldn't stop telling people: her friends, teachers, random people at the store. We were glad for her enthusiasm while waiting for her "crazy" uncle Nick to come into town. 

I had a few things I wanted to accomplish with him while he was in town. 

One: get him to catch the fire of running races

Two: eat a LOT of good food

Three: introduce him to the exhilarating world of the "long run"

Four: Have a fun photo shoot with a more docile subject than my ADHD children

Five: Chill, relax, catch up, laugh, create great memories

 

I think we accomplished all of these things!

Thanksgiving morning Nick and I joined in on a Turkey Trot 5k. It was meant to be just an enjoyable race. However, I couldn't let myself take it too easy. I still pushed myself pretty hard, and managed to pull my fastest min/mile ever and got a great new 5k PR! Given the "break" I'm taking it was quite the surprise and I'm pretty proud of my time! The $25 award money was nice too! ;) I seriously don't know how I ran that fast! Wahoo!

Nick caught the fire of racing, the thrill of a cheering crowd, the energy of running amongst so many people, and the sense of accomplishment of pushing yourself to your limit.

Way to go Nick! He seriously did awesome for his first official 5k ever!

 

And what a small world! I ran into my running buddy from the Bar Harbor Marathon! Even from a distance I recognized her seriously amazing body (I know that sounds creepy, but seriously she is so buff and tone - especially for a 50 year old! :) ) It was fun to see her and catch up. I know we only spent about 4 miles together during the marathon but there is just something so bonding about sharing in someone else's physical and mental struggles that connects you on a deeper level. I hope I "run" into her again soon! :)

Thanksgiving was great. Great food, great company, great conversation, great memories.

 

The rest of the weekend was completely relaxing with beautiful weather and fun times. Nick and I went on his longest run ever, and believe or not he's talking about doing a marathon now! That would be so fun to see him run one! Here's hoping!

We got to do a fun photo shoot, just him and I, right before he left (That post to come soon).

We really loved having him here. I'm glad he lives close enough to make these kind of visits possible and we are all already looking forward to the next one!

A Week of Wendy

What does it mean to have a week of Wendy?

For my kids it means fun and silliness and a great play companion, WAY more cool than their dumb ol' mom!

For me it means constant adult interaction, a great excuse to get out of the house, and being able to spend time with the one person besides my husband who completely "gets" me.

For Wendy it means getting to experience the sights, sounds, smells, and tastes of New England in the fall. 

Here's just some of the fun things we did:

 

Walden Pond

where the girls spent most of their time throwing rocks into the water.

 

Harvard:

 

Regina Pizzeria for the best pizza ever!

 

The Freedom Trail

which ended with delicious Boston Cream Fried Dough one day, and a canoli the next!

 

Wellesley College

 

Then Wendy and I took a girls get-away weekend to NYC.

We got to see my brother, Nick.

 

Hang out in The Big City

 

See Wicked on Broadway

 

 

And some crazy weird, unexplainable show called Fuerza Bruta, which can only be compared to a strange dream.

Oh and did I mention that not only does a see-through stage hang above you filled with water and dancers, but it POURS rain on the audience at the end? (Sorry spoiler alert!)

We were DRENCHED!!! So much fun! So wildly unique!

 

 

We had delicious food the entire weekend with Nick

 

Central Park

and happened upon the NYC marathon.

What surprised me most was that my brother could NOT tear himself away from it. He just HAD to keep watching - at the sacrifice of our chocolate shake - which I was totally ok with! It was fun to see someone in my family "get it" with the whole marathon thing!

 

Then back in Boston we got to enjoy the North End and the South End of downtown Boston

and a fabulous picnic and afternoon at the Boston Public Garden

Justin even got to join us for a bit during the day. I wish he could have joined us for even more of the fun!

 

What a great visit. It was fun to have Wendy in town. We missed her when she left and hope it's not too long before she can visit again.

 It's wonderful to have friends where you both feel that you can totally be yourself with each other;  silly, mellow, talkative, vulnerable, and everything in between. No judgment, no awkwardness; nothing but just pure friendship. What a refreshing feeling! 

Thanks Wendy for being just that kind of friend!

We LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU!!!

MAINEiac ...

...That's how I thought about starting this post a week or so ago; before I knew what was in store for me during the Mount Desert Marathon, in Bar Harbor Maine that I just ran. This post was then supposed to be filled with stories of what a "maniac" I was as I threw this race down like it was nobody's business! I guess it's about time I had a race that didn't go as planned, but for more of the "wrong" reasons than right.

After you read this entire post you'll probably be left thinking I'm crazy for feeling the way I do about this marathon. Especially those of you who (in my opinion) think that all that matters in running a race is your end time (or min/mile). If you've been reading my running posts over the past few years you'll know that I appreciate a good finishing time, placement or PR just as much as the next guy. I guess the point of this post will be the proof that those are only secondary to my first two goals: Enjoying myself, and doing my best in every way - but mostly beating down the mental battle that comes with racing.

Let's start at the beginning:

The day before the race Amy and I drove the course to see what was in store for us.

We saw a whole lot of incredible!

This course runs mostly along the southern end of Mount Desert Island and in and out of the Acadia National Park. It was voted the second most beautiful marathon in the world by Runners World. That's the main reason that I chose to run this particular marathon. I wanted an amazing experience, beautiful, and something that I could just truly enjoy!

I guess I kind of noticed the constant hills during our drive, but I suppose I was a bit distracted; as evidenced above.

But it wasn't the hills I was worried about. What gave me pause for concern was how I felt the day before on my "keep it fresh" 2 mile run. I coughed the entire run, felt like I couldn't breath, and generally didn't have any energy. I knew that if I felt that way on race day I would be in for it - heaven forbid if I felt worse. I had been in denial about the onset of some sort of sickness. My attempts to OD on Vitamin C, Zinc, Echinacea, and any other helpful remedies was not going as planned. 

I tried to stay positive as the race began,

A little chilly, but I knew that would turn into perfect running weather once I got moving! 

And as predicted the weather was beautifully perfect the entire run. Overcast to partly sunny and around the 50's the entire run. Couldn't have been better.

I knew what splits I needed to hit to achieve the time that I knew I was capable of getting. I set off doing what was "expected" of me. The coughing started soon into mile one. That lasted about 3 - 4 miles before it thankfully subsided. I tried to keep the thoughts of doom out of my mind but the reality was I was already tired by the time I hit mile 2. Ahead of me awaited 24.2 more miles, all to be run on sheer will power, and whatever remaining energy I could somehow discover or magically create.

I talked with a few people along the way to distract me. It helped. Soon enough I realized all those hills I had "missed" the day before. A man at the starting line had off-handedly stated, "Don't ever choose a marathon with 'Mount" in the title." I laughed at the time. Oh so witty. Now his words made a lot more sense!

This is what it was like: up, up, down, up, dowwwwn, up, down, up, down, up, up, up, up, dowwwwwn, up, down, up, down, up, down, down, down, up, up, down,up, up, up, uuuuup......you getting the idea?

We were either running up or down. Not a whole lot of flat stretches here folks.

But beautiful. Just keep focusing on the beautiful....I tried.

Mile 6. And yes I realize that this 50 year old lady next to me looks in better shape than me! I can only aspire to her fitness when I'm her age! We had fun conversation until she slowed up around mile 10. I decided to stay to myself after that to make sure I kept on target with my pace goals. The distraction of talking had been nice but made staying focused on my pace a bit harder. Though now in hind sight, it probably would have been better for me mentally if I'd just stuck with a buddy. Justin, Amy, where were you when I needed you!? :)

On my own now I looked forward to seeing Justin and the girls at mile 11 or so.

I was hanging in ok, but really still having a hard time breathing.

About at mile 14 is when my biggest challenge hit me.

See in any marathon there comes a point for everyone (who is running their race the "right" way) where they hit a mental wall, which may or may not coincide with a physical wall they most likely will hit as well. The toughest wall to get through is the mental one. For most marathoners this comes sometime after mile 20. For me this wall came at mile 14.

The wall consists of a mental debate you have with yourself.

"I should just stop running. There's no way I can sustain this for 'x' more miles."

"No I can do it. I've trained for this. I'm am totally capable."

"Maybe I'm not, though. I feel like crap. I'm so tired. I want to just walk, or maybe I should just sit down and rest for a minute."

"There is no way I am going to sit down or even walk for that matter! I am way tougher than that. I can take this. This pain won't kill me. I just need to hold on a little longer."

"Walk!"

"NO!"

"This is never going to end!"

"No! The faster I run the faster this will be over."

And so on..... You get the idea.

I am very good at pushing through this debate all the way to the end. I pride myself on this ability of mine, if you will. I value the mental power that I posses. It has taken a lifetime to develop, and I don't stray from it easily. It is one of my greatest strengths.

But when Justin called me at mile 15 to see how I was doing, I didn't have good news to share. I was really struggling breathing and I already felt like quitting! The mental wall had been hit, and I was currently doing all I could to knock it down, climb over it, or some how completely demolish it! I asked him to just stay on the phone with me. I couldn't do much but listen and just find comfort in the fact that he was there. That phase of the debate doesn't usually hit me until the last couple miles. Here I was at mile 15, with 11.2 more miles to go and already shutting that part of my brain down! Mayday! Mayday!! Runner already in distress! Big time trouble ahead!

He was waiting for me at mile 18 and I just tried to hang on until then. I even was able to still manage a sort of smile.

 

Nouvelle was a great little cheerer when she got the chance. How could you not help but try and smile if you saw this cute little thing clapping for you?

 

At mile 20 I was still on track with my pace expectations. Close to losing it, but still holding on as best I could. But at around mile 20 comes about 5 miles of consistently long up hills with very few down hills for any sort of respite (Refer to graph above). Mile 20 marks when I fell off pace. I was suppose to be shifting into high gear at 7:45 min/miles, which I probably could have done - minus the sickness (I had now finally admitted I was dealing with) and those motha lovin' hills! It was all I could do to just maintain the pace I had set up to this point.

Justin was waiting again around mile 20.5. As you can see I'm done smiling, and I don't even wave or acknowledge that he is there. By now the debate in my mind is RAGING and I'm losing more than winning.

The real, seemingly endless hills start now.

This is what the start of defeat looks like at mile 22:

At mile 23 or so I think is the point where I lost most of my ability to debate with myself all together. I lost sight of all of the powerful mantras that are used to get through the toughest miles. The only thing I was successful at was not stopping and not walking, despite the SCREAMING in my head to just give up.

At this point I was absolutely sure that I didn't look like this (Exhibit A):

But like this (Exhibit B):

and I kind of got mad at Justin for telling me "You're lookin' great! Looking strong!" and "You got this!" I mustered up enough energy to tell him, "I hate it when you say that!" I know horrible, inconsiderate wife! I just couldn't handle hearing it one more time! Hey we all have our weird breaking point. I guess mine comes around mile 23 or so as the pain creates an aggressive monster who I can only compare to a woman in labor! I claim guiltlessness. The endorphins, testosterone, or whatever, made me do it!

The start of mile 25 was down hill - finally - and it was all I could do to speed up even a little bit. My legs where shot by this point too. And then some kind soul decided to end the last .5 miles or so on another upgrade. Geez, thanks. So considerate of you! Somehow I made it across the finish line.

That's right power-walkin' across the finish line. No, give me some credit. Of course I ran across. In fact, I felt like I was sprinting. Evidently not (Refer to picture Exhibit B above).

Even though the clock said 3:34:57 - something like 22 minutes faster than my last marathon just 7 months ago, and 3 minutes faster than the first 26.2 miles of my 50k back in June (both of which were my first and second time goals for this race) I couldn't help but feel completely defeated. Not quite a complete failure, but pretty crappy none-the-less. I didn't do as well as I could have, was "suppose" to. I feel like I wasted all that physical training. My mental strength had been depleted, completely sucked out of me. I didn't even have the ability to think clearly, let alone breathe. In fact it had been so hard to breathe throughout the run that when I finally stopped I was so light headed I thought I'd pass out. Instead I just had Justin hold me up for a few minutes.

This was definitely the worst (meaning hardest) race I've run up to this point. I guess every runner needs a "failure" under their belt. Yes, yes, I know, I know. This is where most people will start to think I'm crazy. I told you when you first started reading this that you would think that, didn't I? I know. I did "amazing" I got an "amazing" time. But really you must realize that what matters to me most when running is how I feel I met the challenge placed before me mentally. Though I didn't walk or stop (thank heavens I can at least say that) I feel like the race got the best of me mentally - and that just isn't suppose to happen - not to me! :) 

I've been trying to gain perspective on this over the days since the race. Finally getting over my bronchial cold or whatever it was, has helped me find the energy to think a bit more clearly. I realize I was faced with a mental challenge unlike most I've faced in running up to this point. I've never had to survive that mental debate for so long (gives me pause in ever considering truly getting into more ultra marathons - or maybe this was the perfect mental endurance training run?). 11 miles is a long time to fight that mental battle. Six is a long time. Eleven? It did me in. 

I'm glad I finished. I beat two time goals. I"PRed." I placed well (blah blah blah). I'm proud I didn't walk. I'm even more proud I didn't quit. I don't want to think about another big race for awhile - but let's face it, I probably will sooner than later.

*side note: The day after the race I was even more sick. I came home from the Dr.'s with an antibiotic and an inhaler. Nothing like a day late and a dollar short.

Got Estrogen?

The Tufts 10k certainly does! With 7,000+ women running this 10k there certainly was enough to go around.

This was suppose to be an enjoyable little 10k with friends. It didn't quite go as expected. Start off with 87 degree weather (yeah I know that is nothing compared to the 90+ degree weather I trained in all summer - but after weeks of temps in the 40-60's it was quite a shock to the system!

*Blatant disregard for this thought process - Thanks a lot Mother Nature).

I was suppose to run with these guys

But one by one we all ended up getting separated from each other. Once I found myself running sans companions, I just wanted the race to end so I could get out of the heat. So I pushed it a bit harder for the last two miles and this is how I ended the race - all alone. Ah well.

 

These are the people who did NOT see my cross the finish line (due to some "miscommunication").

Poop on that. I guess I was just running so fast they couldn't recognize the blur of me sprinting by. Whatever.

I didn't think I should run this as an all out race (due to my upcoming marathon) but I did end up pushing a little bit harder than I had in last years race and it certainly felt harder with the heat factor. The thing I find super interesting (if we're looking at this race for any measure of improvement over the last year) is that I ran this race about 10 minutes faster than last year, last year felt like an easy run this year felt like a harder "normal" run, the weather conditions were worse this year - but my average heart rate for this race was 9 bpm lower! Hmmm interesting. Kind of a cool way, I normally don't look at, to see improvement. Good to know the heart is ticking on healthier!

Glad I did the race. It's always empowering to run with all those women! Go Estrogen! Or something like that.

Tis The Season

I've given you a break from my running ventures for long enough. And considering it's race season again it should only be expected that I'm going to just have to share a few more stories.

I like fall racing season. I think in general things during a fall race have a greater chance of going a bit better than spring races. After running in the freezing winter months, spring races have the potential to break you physically if the weather takes a sudden turn to a heat wave. On the contrary, after training in the melting, stifling heat of summer fall races are usually* a welcome respite.

We thought that we would go for a repeat race  to see if we could do better than our previous times. There's nothing like aiming for a PR on the exact same course. I think it's a truer measure of the progress you've made. The only variable is the weather; everything else is more or less the same. So what better way to compete with yourself?

So off we went to run the Salem Wicked Half Marathon again.

Last year I had only been back to running after Nouvelle's birth for about 4 months, amongst a slew of other struggles. I was still proud of my time then - but this year went remarkably better!

Once again though, I wasn't quite feeling ready for this race. After getting back from Utah it has been hard to feel back to myself completely. A lot of things haven't been as enjoyable as they normally are, and even running has been hard for me to do. For the past month I've had to really convince myself to get out the door to go running. Of course I am always glad I do, but...well it's been hard.

The night before the race I didn't even know what goals to set for myself. I admit I was kind of floundering. I thought maybe I would just run it along with whatever Justin was hoping to do (If I could keep up with that). Plus this was just a trial race to help me prepare for my bigger race coming up in a few weeks (which, by the way, I have also been feeling unsure about. What can I realistically expect from myself? Did I peak back in June and now I'm just coasting along or barely hanging in there? How hard can I push myself? etc etc etc). 

(Maybe I shouldn't point out, but I just can't help myself - doesn't Justin have the greatest legs? By the way he has a really nice butt too! I'm just sayin'.)

The day was WAY more humid than I'd like (96% humidity! Ug!). I was sweating so much that even wind resistance didn't keep the stinging sweat out of my eyes! At least it stayed mostly overcast though!

I was feeling really well (ok minus the vomit that for some reason decided to keep creeping up my throat into my mouth. I'll blame it on the illness that was making it's way through my family the week prior to this race). I enjoyed the magnificent scenery of the Salem coast and neighborhoods - with its sailboats floating in the harbor - under a slate gray sky, the French and Italian inspired mansions, the quaint historical buildings of American history. It is a pretty run.

I kept us slightly ahead of the pace goals that Justin had decided on, and things jut kept going along really well. I hit a slight wall around mile 9.5 but I think that is right when my Gu kicked in, so it didn't last too long. As soon as I made it to the top of the hill at mile 10 I was really hitting my stride. I really wanted to shift up to high gear. Maybe I just wanted to get the race over with! Unfortunately, Justin couldn't quite keep up the new pace with me (or as he likes to say he "couldn't accelorate." Really though what's the difference? :) haha ). I hope it's ok that I left him behind. Don't judge. I think it's a fair agreement - and yes, I would have been ok if he'd left me behind if the roles were reversed. But maybe he never would. Hmmm. Maybe I am a "terrible person" - I'll get over it.

The last few miles are always hard. I think no matter how fast or slow you are running they should always feel like hell. If you're running your race right, it should at least. I think races are the time to leave absolutely EVERYTHING on the course. Whatever that looks like for a person, it's the time to give it absolutely all you've got. That's one of the reasons I like races. It is the perfect situation to truly see how far you can go. For some reason just a training run on your own doesn't seem to create the same amped up experience as a race.

Side note: I don't think the last few miles should be so hard that you have to slow down your pace significantly or (heaven forbid) walk. If that's the case then you have probably not paced yourself correctly at the beginning of the race (but that is probably a subject for a running blog or something like that - which I don't have, so you're spared). It's only my opinion, but I just think you you should feel completely spent.

I was spent, sure enough. And coming around the last mile and that stupid little hill right towards the end about made me pass out! 

Minus the inch long blister I accrued during the run on my toe, I felt significantly better crossing the finish line this year than last.

 And thankfully Justin wasn't too far behind!

 

It was a fun race to do (mostly) together. 

We got to watch our friends cross the finish line together, and were so proud of Jeff who is working through his distaste of running. There's hope Jeff. And it all begins today!

Amy and I couldn't help busting a move to the soul pounding music. Something about 80's music just makes you want to do the running man, right?

Improving my last year's time by over 18 minutes and setting a new half marathon PR was magnificent!

Taking second place in my age division was above and beyond any expectations! I even got this cool glass to put my beer...I mean soda in! :)

But best of all is I feel way more prepared mentally and physically for my marathon in a few weeks. Now I know a bit better what to aim for during that race. And who knows? Maybe I'll just achieve it!

 

One more side note:

Regarding Running/Racing etiquette - When entering a water station take your water and keep moving. Don't come to a dead stop as soon as they hand you a cup. There are runners behind you! And by ALL MEANS, do NOT spit a mouthful of said water on the runner who just about plowed you over from behind and had to bust some crazy move to get around you! Your courtesy would be appreciated next time.

I Am Not a Runner

My post a little while ago about what I do all day got me thinking....

Is running all that I do? Is it who I am?

Well it is a major part or how I spend my individual free time, but I want to publicly state that

I am not a runner.

I run. I love to run. But I am not a runner. I am so much more than that. It's a hobby, a passion, an interest, an indulgence, but running does not define who I am. I've known people before, that let running (or some other sport or activity) define them. My life is not fulfilled only if I am running; setting new PR's, logging a certain number of miles, going a certain speed, beating certain people, getting a BQ (Boston Qualifying Time) etc. etc. I am not left forlorn and empty if people don't praise or acknowledge my running accomplishments. I don't rely on my running accomplishments to fuel my mood, or my opinions about myself. 

Yes, I think everyone should run, but not because I think it will make them a more worthwhile person or in some way increase their individual worth. I just think that a person can learn immense amounts about themselves and life while running; and the parallels of running and life are endless. But, I get that not everyone likes it and it's not for everyone.....but I still think everyone should do it! Even just a little. A mile or two a few times a week? It can work wonders on the soul! But, I digress....

Running is a huge part of my life (some people in my life who don't understand running would say I'm obsessed - Why do people who don't run think that all runners are crazy or obsessed? I don't get it - But perhaps that is a different post altogether).

As I was saying, running is a part of my life (yes a big part), but it is not who I am. However, it IS something that has taught me about myself and helped me grow mentally. It has pushed my limits and made me stronger. Running is something that has given me more than normal amounts of serious introspection time, and contributed to my well-being. It has helped develop my character, tested and proved my work ethic, my dedication, my will, my resiliency. It brings peace to my life. It brings pain as well - but the pain brings appreciation and growth. It's principles can be applied and compared to other parts of my life, which help bring understanding to other things in my life as well. Yes, I am aware that running isn't the only activity in existence that can bring this to a person, but it has been a very effective source in my life, and I think it can be fore most people. In a nutshell, running is the conduit that helps me discover who I am.

And though I absolutely LOVE running, if I wasn't able to run ever again I would be ok.

Running was taken away form me once before in my life and I survived. If it were ever taken away from me again my life would go on, I would be ok, and I would still be me - because it is not who I am.

I think that there are people who think that all I do is run and that it is who I am and there isn't much more to me. I guess I just wanted to express the point that though it contributes a lot to my life, trust me; I am so much more than a runner.

Having got that off my chest....anyone wanna go for a run?

Choose Your Own Adventure

A Reading of an Ultra Marathon - Niagara Falls 50k

 The following post can be read in either the "sprint" version (listed first) or the "full" version (listed second).

Choose you're own adventure!

 

Sprint Ultra Course

1 - Crazy IDEA

31 - MILES in a 50k

12 - WEEKS of training

471.14 - MILES of training runs

2 - Number of SHOES I literally ran through

1 - AMAZINGLY supportive HUSBAND

3 - Adorable race support MEMBERS and cheerleaders

12 - Times that Justin STOPPED and got 3 kids out of the car to hand off water, give high fives, and cheer me on!

65-80 - DEGREES farenheit during my race

80-90 - Percent of HUMIDITY during my race

304 - Total feet of ELEVATION gain

200 -Feet of that total elevation gain in less than ONE MILE

1 of 7 - WONDERS of the WORLD - Running to Niagara Falls and back!

230,4854,194,182,002 - Number of TOURISTS I had to run through to get to the turn around point at the falls (ok slight exaggeration)

6 - PHONE conversations during the race

0 - RACES I've run that were more beautiful

3:56 - Hours:min to complete my LAST MARATHON in March

3:37 - Hours:min when I reached 26.2 MILES this race

3:40 - New BOSTON MARATHON qualifying time for females age 35-40

2 - Times I PEED my pants while running

27 - Miles that felt GREAT

4 - Miles at the end that were excruciatingly DIFFICULT

10 - What those last 4 miles FELT LIKE

1 - BLISTER

4:17 - TIME to run 31 miles

11 - OVERALL placement for this race

2 - Placement for OVERALL WOMEN

1 - Placement for my FEMALE AGE GROUP

 

The Full Ultra Course 

Sometime just before I was about to run the National marathon in March I realized that I wasn't going to be able to back off of my training completely once the race was over. I knew I would need another major race within a few months to fulfill some "gypped" part of me that came into existence back when I got pregnant with Nouvelle while training for my first marathon. I originally thought that maybe I would just do another marathon in June this year. As I got to looking for races I came upon a marathon at Niagara Falls. There was however, a 50k race as well. As I jokingly mentioned this to Justin...well, somehow some non-serious comment turned into a crazy idea, which turned into a commitment. So there you have it. I began training for my first ultra marathon.

I was feeling really good about my training, but after giving my all during the Ragnar I felt a bit depleted and haven't bounced back as I would have liked to. I didn't know if it was the sudden rise in temperatures/humidity, or that I had over-trainined, or was just burning out. But come race-day eve I wasn't really "feeling it." My head was just not in it. I knew I could run 31 miles but I just didn't know how fast. I kept telling myself I really would be content to just complete the race.

Morning came and the race began and I set out nice and easy. I've learned my lesson more than once not to start out too fast. I had set some pace goals to keep me on track with what "so-and-so" and "this-and-that" had told me I "should" be able to do. But to tell you the truth I didn't know if they were realistic expectations. I figured "Hey if I crash and burn, well, then I'll go out in a beautiful flame." But I tried to stick to the pace goals I set for the first 10 miles. It was already warmer and more humid than I would have liked but the run along the Niagara River Rec. Trail was amazing! So beautiful! I was truly enjoying every step!

Ahead of me though,at around mile 7, was a one mile climb of about 200 feet that just loomed over me mentally. I was dreading it and didn't know what to expect. I hit it and just ran that hill to smithereens! I booked it up the hill (too fast? oh well!! ) and felt great! I actually gained 4 seconds per mile overall going up that hill! ooops there went the "keep to a certain pace" thing. After that hill, some mental barrier just broke free and I was feeling so good I started speeding up a few miles before my "scheduled" pick up time. 

Justin was absolutely amazing the entire race (would you expect anything less?)! He kept surprising me every few miles with an adorable cheering section. He pulled those girls in and out of the car about a dozen times the entire race to replenish my water and sports drinks, and give me high fives and take pictures! One thing is for sure - Justin has learned what one of the most meaning things is to me - showing support.

Growing up I had arguably one of the most supportive mothers I know of. She was at virtually every possible dance performance, track meet, show, competition, audition, you name it! It was definitely one of her most impactful ways of showing love  - and I think that principle has been instilled in me ever since! Justin has picked up on that and gotten better and better at showing his love through the form of supporting me in the things that I enjoy or find important. Every time I saw him there, chasing our typical 4 and 3 year olds around, it was the most powerful reminder of how much he loves me. I know it wasn't easy for him, or convenient, but he did it anyway because he just cares that much. Awww shucks, ok enough of the mushy stuff!

But it was just the oomph I needed every few miles or so. I looked forward to when I might see them again! 

Oh and everyone else loved seeing them as well! Numerous people came up to me after the race and asked me if they could borrow him, or how I got so lucky, or how did I train him so well. The answers: For a substantial fee; certainly by nothing I did to deserve it, and he's very teachable!

Did I mention how amazingly beautiful this race was? Running towards one of the seven wonders of the world! How could it get any better? Well, not having to dodge all of the tourists visiting said wonder would have been a good start....but luckily I didn't mow any of them over!

As I approached the turn around point at mile 15.5 a fellow runner commented on how he couldn't believe I had just taken a call and chatted with a friend in the middle of my race without even losing my breath (Thanks for the company Amy!!! ). Ha! I told him I got a lot of practice running and chasing after my kids and yelling at them all day! This led to him remarking that "most of you leading female runners have kids." HU? Most of us what? I'm no leading female runner! A few moments later a female runner passed us on her way back after the turn-around. His comment, "There's your competition!" My reply, "I didn't realize I was competing!" It soon became apparent that I was actually in 5th place for all the women! Wow! That thought started to sink in and I concluded, "Hey! I guess I can compete. Sure. Why  not? I guess I'm competing now!" So I headed back on the second half of my race with the hopes of passing at least one of those four women in front on me. Two would be nice! Three amazing -but not likely.

Unfortunately, I didn't pass any of them before I hit all the marathon women who had now made their turn around point and were headed back. I really didn't have much way of knowing if the lady I was passing was a marathoner or an ultra. But I just kept on keeping on, feeling magnificent! 

Then right around here, with about 7.5 miles to go,

I caught a glimpse of a woman's bib as I passed her and knew she was an ultra lady! Hey! Cool! That puts me in 4th! I'll take that! Then I proceed to FLY down that 200 foot hill!

As I got closer to 26.2 miles, I started wondering if I was going to beat my last marathon time, or...what would I need to run to have a Boston Marathon qualifying time? That was probably out of reach. But as I hit 26.2 and looked at my watch to see 3 hours 37 minutes, I realized I had done both! Wow! Could this race get any better!?

Peeing my pants? Well why not? Hey when you're running a race and trying to get a great time or pass people, stopping for a potty break is not ideal. So out it came (I know TMI - but just grin and bear it)! Come on! It makes me hard core and I take pride in that (yes I know some may actually consider this obsessive or crazy).

It was about a mile or so later that things started to deteriorate quickly. I hit my wall with about 4 miles left. Those 4 felt like 10. Justin called  about at this point asking if I'd passed the lady in the yellow shirt. Apparently she was an ultra runner and, only 30 seconds ahead of me or so. "Only" 30 seconds? Ah that's nothing! Tell that to the woman who is battling the infamous wall! I couldn't even try. I just kept running as hard as I could. If I saw her, I saw her.....well, I saw her. If I could pass her, I'd pass her....well, I passed her. And prayed for the last 3 miles that she didn't have more left in her than me!

I SLAMMED into that wall with 2 miles left. I wanted to quit. Really I did. I think the only thing that kept me going was a Crossfade song, "No Giving Up" which fortuitously came on with about 1.75 miles left. I kept playing it over and over and over again...all the way to the finish line!

Finishing time - 4hrs 17 min. The severe and almost immediate cramping in my legs was made glorious as Justin informed me that I actually had placed 2nd over ALL the females....and first in my age division!

I do have to admit I was so proud of myself that if I could, I would have made-out with myself! What euphoria!

As a stay-at-home mom there aren't very many opportunities to really feel profound pride in yourself, and very few ways to really SEE success or achievement. Even motherhood achievements are hard to recognize on a daily basis. There aren't very many things that mom's get to do just for them. So much of our life as mothers is about sacrificing ourselves for our children. Sometimes there isn't much left just for us. Running has been one of those things that I've allowed myself to have. Something just for me. I have made countless sacrifices for this (sleep being one of my most difficult sacrifice). The daily pay off of health, energy, happier frame of mind, weight control, etc. are actually enough for me to make the effort of running worth it; but after a race like this - completing 31 miles, faster than I even thought possible, and placing in the top one and two is like an amazing extra shot of positive juice!!

Those kids look more tired than I do! Poor gals! And yes, when I landed from jumping up like that I thought my legs would fall off!

I have never felt such a high after a run/race. The endorphins lasted all day! I couldn't even take a nap!

Is it possible to O.D. on endorphins, 'cause I think I just may have!

Uh Hem....

The older I get the more uncomfortable birthdays get....and not because I'm getting older. I think it's just all the attention. As a child, teen, and young adult I loved having all the attention. Now I have to admit it is a bit awkward. I don't know what has occurred that makes me feel a tad uncomfortable having all the focus on me; perhaps my profession has molded me to feel that it is some sort of faux pas to discuss myself or have anything be about me; or perhaps parenthood has turned my attentions more naturally outward. Whatever the reason the dynamic of having a birthday has changed for me. Don't get me wrong it still means a TON to me when my "special day" is acknowledge by others, and honestly my feelings are still a bit hurt when say, a mom, brother, or close friend fails to acknowledge in some way it's my birthday, but as far as all the fan fare....well....I'll just bow my head, lower my gaze and and timidly look up once in awhile...

But to give credit where credit is due my husband does all he can every year to make it an amazing day.

The festivities began on the weekend with a child free celebration. I've missed my favorite running partner (Justin) lately so I asked him to get a babysitter and join me on my long run that morning. We had a magnificent trail run in the rain through a conservation area near our home!  Too rainy for pictures- 8(

That evening he surprised me with a trip to F1Boston. He knowing my love for driving - and driving fast! took me to go go-cart racing! These were genuine racing go-carts. No messing around on these things! What an awesome idea! I was the only girl there, but had a great time racing with the guys (though they were all so intense. I got rammed quite a few times and one guy even got put in the penalty box for being too aggressive with me.) I'll admit...I came in dead last. I had some brake issues....ok I would have been in last regardless...but it was a lot of fun. I demand a rematch!

Afterwards we went to the mall for a shopping spree! I honestly felt out of my element because it is very far and few between that I get to the mall to shop for myself. I managed ok in the end though! 

Then we went to Red Robin for dinner. I know that sounds anti-climatic, but honestly this was such a treat. It is definitely one of those staple restaurants I miss and the closest one to us is...well, not close. I SO enjoyed some of my old favorite things from there! Mostly I just enjoyed being with Justin with some good quality alone time (and a big shout out to our friends, the Calls, who filled in as babysitters since all the young women were otherwise occupied!).

On Monday, my actual birthday I had a friend filled day with visits from some awesome friends. That night Justin, the girls and I went to our favorite local restaurant for a magnificent dinner and came home to a "surprise" cake eating party with some of our closet friends - with a beautiful abstract art cake made just for me by my kids!

Despite feeling awkward about all the attention it still succeeded in making me feel super special! Thanks to everyone who sent birthday wishes my way! Here's to another year!

Marathon Sandwich

Ingredients:

1 HEAPING spoonful of a Ragnar Race

2 Marathons

PLENTY of water

Gatorade

Gu's

Shotbloks

Luna Bars

Bananas

 

Directions:

Run the Boston Marathon course. Add immediately the next weekend  a Semi-Ultra Ragnar Race; run at full effort. Run one more marathon distance the following weekend. Drink PLENTY of water and/or Gatorade, eat Gu's, Shotbloks, Luna Bars, and Bananas throughout as needed. Enjoy the magnificent scenery along the way as you weave through the "Emerald Necklace" and along the Charles River!

 

 

Amazing!

Today's last marathon distance training run really lifted my spirits! I don't know if I'll be "eating" one of these marathon sandwiches very often, but I sure did enjoy every bit of it these last three weeks! It definitely is beautiful running in Boston in the Spring.

Yale To Harvard

and the quest of The Holy Hand Grenandes!

 

This past weekend was the New England Ragnar where my team The Holy Hand Grenades ran 194 miles from Yale to Harvard. Justin and I have really wanted to do a Ragnar together, so we've been planning on running this one since he did it last year (just a few weeks after Nouvelle was born).

I wasn't going to post all the greusom details 'cause I figure most people reading this blog don't care about those that much....but for my journaling sake I'm going to anyway. You can enjoy the pictures, skim the details or live vicariously through me as you pour over my personal moments from this race.

For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to captain the team, and this proved to be almost more stressful than the race itself....well almost.

We were thinking of maybe leaving a couple of spots open on our team so that a few of us could run a little bit extra, but due to some other drop outs we ended up with three empty slots! Normally a runner does three separate legs throughout the two day race. This meant some of us would have to do 4 and others 5. Luckily a few of our team members are training for long distance races and felt they could take on more legs. Others of us were just crazy like that and wanted extra legs whether they were training for something or not!

Justin and I ended up in van 2 with two other team members. We met up with our team at the first major exchange. I was following the weather closely hoping that a heat wave wouldn't descend upon me after only training in cool weather. It looked promising...possible rain, overcast... but this was not my fate. Literally 10 minutes before my first leg was to get underway the sun came bursting through the clouds! High humidity is bad enough but add to it direct, hot sunshine and it just zaps ya!

But off I went on my first leg (this being my first of the two extra legs I would be running). This was supposed to be a 8.2 mile leg. From the very start I was extremely uncomfortable and sweating abnormal amounts. I had no idea how fast I should push myself, especially since I had 4 more legs after this and a night of no sleep ahead of me. But I just dug in and pushed for a 7:45 min/mile.

It ended up being about 7:15 instead. Crap. I don't know if I thought this through enough.....There was only one person running between my first leg and my next leg. I had about 40 minutes to recoup. I don't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. On one hand you have time to give your heart-rate a break, but then your legs start cramping. But not much choice, I hopped out and headed on my second leg of 3.6. Still hot and bizarrely foggy and muggy I pushed through my next leg. I wish I could have focused more on the beautiful Long Island Sound I was running by, and I honestly tried, but it was just too blasted hot and I was just focusing on keeping my pace which ended up being around 7:25.

This is the only photo I posed for. Normally I can successfully run a race and pose for great action shots at the same time. Not this race. It was all I could do to just run. This is me launching my hand grenade at the girl I was about to pass. I really didn't focus on passing people - but it just inevitably happened. At some points I was actually dreading passing people just in fear that it would make them want to run faster and then I would just HAVE to keep up. I tried very hard to just mentally run my race, my pace, in my way and if I ended up passing someone I did. Most people were really nice when I passed them. Almost all the girls said "good job," or "looking good." Most of the men didn't say a thing! It was about the last mile of this run where the horrid cramp, that would never go away, began to haunt my runs!

After my leg Justin was off into the heat as well and he seriously rocked his 4.8 miles at something like a 7:17 min/miles! 

We met up with van 1 at the second major exchange ate some food and then took off to the third major exchange where we were "supposed" to sleep. As tired as I was, sleeping before 10pm was just not going to happen. As each runner on our team finished their leg we got more and more ahead of our predicted schedule, so Justin started his first of his extra two legs at 11pm in the pitch dark. And thus began our van running straight through the middle of the night.

Once again he rocked his 3.3 miles with 6:45 min/miles! Geez Justin!

It was a weird misty humid night and by the time I got to my first leg this is what I saw with my headlamp on.  

It was almost worse with it on than off. Kind of like driving in a blizzard with your lights on. But at least the sun was gone! I had an 8.7 mile leg.  I thought it was going to have more down hills than up, but I'll tell ya, it didn't feel like that! The cramp came back with a vengeance especially on any down hills which meant just letting myself loose was a bit more out of the question. Man I gave that leg my all and tried to chase down a new running friend I'd made but he just wouldn't let me have it. It pushed me fast through those last few miles and I came in with a 7:25 min/mile. I had three miles on that run that were 7 min miles or faster!

Justin ran another 7 miles at a wicked good pace. Then one more teammate ran before I was up again for a 2.6 mile run, mostly downhill.

The cramp was so bad this run that I had to pinch my side most of the run to just deal with the pain. It was like daggers the entire run, but I dug in and forced myself to run through the pain. Just before my leg started I learned that van 1 was running behind. I worried the entire run about whether they were going to be at the exchange or not. I sprinted in to the exchange in excruciating pain, after giving it my all and was told the other van hadn't made it and there was no one to pass off too. Talk about ending a difficult run anticlimactically! Let's just say I was more than infuriated and leave it at that.

15 min later the other van finally made it and started their legs. We drove to our last major exchange. Too tired to do anything, we stayed in our stinky clothes, in our stinky van and laid there trying to sleep. I rested but did not sleep. At one point I tried to remember some of the details of my legs I'd ran thus far and couldn't recollect some things! What did the exchange of my third leg look like? How fast did I run my second leg? Maybe it was lack of sleep or just the fact that in a four person van where one is either running, driving, navigating or getting ready for your next run I had to hit reset before I was able to hit enter. Morning came and before I knew it our van was running again.

My fellow team member was more than exuberant about our team name and wore his hand made costume and ran carrying the holy hand grenade for the first two miles - you know just to get our last set of legs off with a bang! Crazy guy!

Thank goodness the sun was hidden behind clouds when we started but of course as luck would have it about 15 min before my run the clouds magically disappeared and I was left with that blasted humid sun again! By now my cramp was bothering me even when I wasn't running. Needless to say I was not ready for 5 more miles!

I gave myself permission to take it more easy this 5th leg but after two miles I said to heck with that and dug down deep for just one more leg. As you can see, this gal, who normally only "perspires" while running had a full on dripping sweat situation going on! I know it's only going to get hotter, but this was such an extreme shock to my system all at once I don't know if my body knew what to do with it! 

My overall pace on this leg slowed a bit but what can you expect after running 23 miles at race pace on no sleep!? My overall pace for this last run was 7:45 but what I'm most proud of is my last mile was 7:06 with a full sprint up the last hill to the exchange!

By the time Justin started his 4th of 5 legs the sun was full force. For 8.7 miles he pushed through it up some major hills.

I was so proud of him! I'd get out and spray him with water every couple miles but it only helped so much. I decided to give him some moral support his last mile and a half and paced him. At first he gave me the stink eye but I hope in the end it helped.

When he finished his 4th leg  he was seriously questioning if he could run his (and the races) final leg. He took his 30 min break while someone else ran and cooled off and regrouped. He was bound and determined to finish what he started!

And he hit those last 2 miles or so and brought us in! We pulled into the finish line only moments before he came running in, and our entire team made a half lap around Harvard's track for the finish in 27 hours and 34 minutes.

 

I LOVED running this race with Justin. It's such a unique kind of race. I love that there is always someone there to cheer you on. You get to hop out of your van and run your own race but also be a part of a team. It's fun camaraderie and bonding, and just a new way to challenge yourself. It breaks up the monotony of regular road races.

Next time I think I'll just go for the full ultra team instead of our 9 person, semi-ultra team. I think running back to back legs would actually be easier than the way we stitched things together. I'd like to do a double header (2 Ragnar's in one year). I don't know if this year will be the year, but I'm open to the posssibility! It's hard aranging to have someone take care of your kids while you and your spouse are gone for two days. But hey, you know me! I'm always up for a challenge!

Oh and what's even harder than running 28 miles over two days with no sleep?

Coming home and instead of taking the nap you both so desperately need, you get to take care of three kids (one of which was sick) for 4 more hours!

Oh but they're so cute, it was worth waiting a little bit longer for that much needed sleep.

Today in Sports....

....the weather was a cool 50 degrees for today's Boston Marathon.

 

Wait? What? You didn't know that today was the Boston Marathon? Well that explains why you weren't out there cheering for me!

Ok, you got me it wasn't the "OFFICIAL" Boston Marathon but it was MY official Boston Marathon.

It's a long story. Do you got the time? Well you're reading this so you must. I'll try to make it to the point.

Not many people outside of family and a few friends know that awhile back I got some wild idea to train for a 50k (that's 31 miles for those Metric System challenged people - like myself). As to why I thought this was a good idea is an entire other long story (you can ask me later). But none-the-less, after my marathon in March I jumped into week 6 of a 20-week 50k training schedule. I was a bit overwhelmed when I saw that TWO of my long training runs were 26 miles! I searched for actual marathons on those weekends, but living in wonderful New England all I found were Sunday races. That stinks. Running a marathon and not getting a medal or even the t-shirt? MAN!

As THE Boston Marathon neared, I was in a local running shop and saw the absolutely adorable paraphernalia for this years Boston.

Oh man I wanted that shirt!

But I couldn't bring myself to buy it. It seemed kind of wrong to wear a Boston marathon shirt if I hadn't actually ran it. That led to me thinking, "Hey for one of my long runs I should just do it! I should just run the Boston course!" Of course I couldn't run it as fast as a Boston Marathon qualifier, nor should I run it as fast as I had the potential to, but it would make for a fun training run.

So off I set this morning at 5 am for the starting line

A police officer that was parked there looked at me like I was crazy when I explained to him what I was doing.

Well, he may be accurate in that assumption.

I ran the first 9 miles alone and then my friend, Amy, was kind enough to wake up her family and drive out to mile 9 so that she could run that last 17 miles with me! She was also kind enough to push herself (harder that she may have wanted to), not complain, and support, encourage and distract me the entire way. Not that I was "pushing" myself that hard, but I was running as fast as I could while still keeping my HR below 70%! 

The stark contrast:

MY Boston Marathon at mile 14

THE Boston Marathon at mile 14

A bit more of a solitary event today than one month ago!

But I had my friend and a great pit crew to help me along the way!

 

Feeling good now that "heartbreak" hill is over...

 

and then coming in at the finish...

A very fun training run indeed. But man, I'm reminded that no matter how fast or slow you run it, 26.2 miles is LONG way! 

 

My #1 fans...

 

And wouldn't you know it!? Justin surprised me with that shirt I wanted...

It's cute right?

I guess I'm a little more ok with wearing it now.

Happy Mother's Day!

Kristin doesn't believe me when I tell her how beautiful she is. She doesn't always know all the ways she supports me. She doesn't realize how strong or what an amazing mother she is. Sometimes I wonder if she realizes all the things she does for the girls. She also doesn't understand how much she inspires me and pushes me to be better. I don't know how she keeps juggling preschool, dance, running, her work, my work, friends, birthdays, church, other activities, chores around the house, and everything else that goes along with being a mom and a wife. 

After every tiring day and exhausting week she finds the strength to keep going and do it all over again. She is the light of my life and an amazing mother. She deserves mother's day every month and I don't know where we would be without her. We love her so much and I don't think words can describe how much we need, appreciate, admire, and adore her. Happy Mother's Day!

The Art of Anguish

We got some pictures that the race photographers on our marathon took, and I couldn't help but put a few more up on this blog (sorry for the race information overload). These photos aren't the most flattering, but something about them just strikes me on a emotional level. Something about seeing the anguish and work on our faces as we cross the finish line is awe provoking. 

Jerome Drayton, Canadian marathon record holder, stated that 

“To describe the agony of a marathon to someone who’s never run it is like trying to explain color to someone who was born blind."

It IS hard to describe, but these photos in some way capture the physical and emotional battle every runner (no mater how fast or slow), passes through during their race, and especially within those last 6 miles.

"The body does not want you to do this. As you run, it tells you to stop but the mind must be strong. You always go too far for your body. You must handle the pain with strategy...It is not age; it is not diet. It is the will to succeed." Jacqueline Gareau, 1980 Boston Marathon Champ

 

"Running Through History"

18 weeks of training

3 months running on ice and snow

5:30 am runs in the dark

9:00 pm runs in the dark

2 pairs of shoes

0 injuries  (thank goodness)

482.3 miles of training runs

 

All leading to.....

a 26.2 mile race through Washington DC!

 

Finally the weekend came that we have been working, sacrificing, and yes literally at times throwing ourselves in front of insanity's doorstep for.

After arranging for our kids to be taken care of for three days and two nights.....the "stress" of a marathon actually seemed miniscule. I swear I was more nervous about how my kids and their care takers would do than anything regarding the impending 26.2 miles I was about to run.

I was excited to get away for the weekend and it was very fun to be in our Nations Capital (but I can catch you up on those touristy things later). I can honestly say I wasn't nervous about the race, just mostly nervous about if I was going to wear the right running clothes for the weather.

I did wonder if our time goal that we had set was either too high or too low. I just did't know how to be completely sure. We wanted to finish around 4 hours, averaging about 9:00 min miles; keeping them even splits throughout the entire race or negative splits for the second half. Even though this technically would be our second marathon....in all reality it was really my first, and I didn't know fully what to expect. I at least did feel physically and mentally prepared and really up for almost anything.

Here's how the day went:

5:40 am: we woke up and got ready.

Took our speedy taxi to the starting line and found our corral.

It wasn't too long a wait in the cold for the gun to go off, but did take more than 10 minutes to walk from our corral to the starting line!

The first half of the race was amazing. With over 17,000 runners you can imagine the enthusiasm of the runners and the crowd! It was invigorating. It took a lot of self control to not just run like a crazy person through it all! We kept it in check and our overall time was looking good and we were feeling great! In fact, I felt like it was almost just like another training run. High spirits throughout!

We finished the first half just shy of our last half marathon time (but feeling a gazillion million times better). And then we lost more than 12,000 of the runners who were "only" doing the first half. I felt the game change completely then. All too soon were gone the hundreds of cheering spectators, the wild distraction of mass running groups, even the beautiful and inspiring scenery. The second half of a marathon is not for the weak in heart. It becomes a new type of challenge that is really faced from within, as a lone individual.

We pushed through into the second half feeling just as great for quite awhile. Around mile 21 we passed the 4:00 hour pacers (woohoo! We knew we were sitting pretty to come in under 4 hours since they crossed the starting line at least 5 minutes before us) Hey what do you know they happened to capture it on camera!

It was around mile 22 or so that I realized the cramping that had developed in my legs wasn't going to go away. The last 4 miles weren't that fun. The last two were pretty disheartening. The last mile felt like the longest mile I've ever ran. The last .5 miles I thought would never end.

But I just kept telling myself that I could endure anything for 8 minutes or so. I pushed up the hill and around the corner and finished my race in under 4 hours at a 9 minute mile, with negative splits! How's that for attaining your goals!?

 

Of course there are always those questions of what if I'd done this or not done that? But really for the most part I really have no regrets and feel 100% satisfied with the entire experience - even with my choice of running attire!

We waited just a bit for my good friend and training buddy Rachel to finish (Way to go Rache!!). So grateful for a husband and friend who helped me through the LONG winter months of training. I think they all paid off!!

We basked in our sweet finishes

 

and headed to the hotel for a much needed shower and nap...and  some fattening, greasy food of course (much deserved)!

Of course you physically have to be prepared for 26.2 miles...but those last few miles, it definitely comes down to mental strength and endurance to be able to continue putting your body through that kind of pain, endurance, and strain. Any marathon finisher, no matter the time it takes them, is an inspiration of endurance and strength - both physically and mentally - if I do say so myself. It is actually quite "spiritual" and touching to watch individuals push themselves to their limit and beyond and cross the finish line in victory!

I'm proud to be able to say I've done it twice now. Here's to hoping for another someday!

Here's to 100% Success

Way back in the fall Justin had noticed a 20 mile race flyer that was handed out at our half marathon. He asked if I'd be interested in running it. I looked at him and said, "Why would I do 20 miles when I could just do 6 more and make it a marathon?"

Well, eating my words has never tasted so good. 

In planning out our training program for our marathon, we realized that our 20 mile training run would actually fall on the day of a 20 mile race! Hey! So why not!?

Martha's Vineyard 20 miler. What a treat.

We had a few definite goals:

1) Do NOT start out too fast. I really wanted to use this a a chance to train myself to start at a steady pace.

2) Finish without feeling like crap.

3) No pressure. Just enjoy the run...after-all, this was a training run for us not a race.

Some goals that we thought would be nice to achieve, but not necessary:

1) Negative splits

2) Average overall pace 10:00 min miles.

3) No potty breaks

 

Well we acheived them all! What a fabulous race!

 

A little something to make it "taste" extra sweet:

We only got passed by one person the entire run, and we ended up passing him again a few miles later.

We passed almost 50 people throughout the race (I admit it is a lot more invigorating passing others than being passed).

Beautiful East Coast sceanery! Yes even in the middle of winter.

Not having to worry about snow, traffic, route, etc.

A 27 mph back wind for most of the first 10 miles (not so fun the second half but not too horrible either)

Magnificent company and great conversation.

Enough energy left the last few miles to pick up the pace to about 9 min miles.

Full on sprinting the last 100 yards or so!

Great food at the finish line (New England Clam Chowder, Minestrone soup, cookies, toasted bagels, fruit - yum)

Amazing race organization.

 

So great! 

A training run has never been so fabulous. I'm almost worried the 21 mile run in 2 weeks will let me down!

 

Nah.....just more too look forward to!

Martha's Vineyard 20 miler, I'd love to eat my words with you again sometime.

An Omen of Sorts

Last week was horrible. And by that I mean it was just the culmination of a few horrible weeks finally getting the most of me. BLAH. I was dreading another week of FREEZING  temperatures, Justin's all consuming earnings *month* at work, running on slush/ice/snow, fighting traffic due to impassable sidewalks, kids throwing worse and worse tantrums......and on and on. How could I start another week?

Monday morning I woke up bright and early and headed out for my run. As I turned the first corner I was greeted with this a magnificent sunrise. My cheepo cellphone camera could not come close to capturing it.

I felt invigorated. My run felt great. A driver actually rolled down his window when I moved over to the side of the road and told me "Thank you." Seriously?! I couldn't help but wonder if the morning sun rise was an omen of things to come this week.

My kids behaved that day. I was in a better mood and thus more patient with them. Oh and it wasn't below freezing, which allowed us the chance to go out and play! Amazing how high 30's - low 40's can feel "warm" after weeks of temperatures in the teens and 20's. 

Tuesday I woke even earlier to get in a dreaded pace run. I've been struggling breaking the 8 minute mile barrier again. Getting back into shape with three kids has proved ruthless, and trying to improve my speed near impossible with all this snow. I was running on about 3 hours of sleep (Thank you kids with nightmares and growing pains), but I pushed HARD. After all, this was the first morning in a long time that there wasn't inches to feet of freshly fallen slow or ankle deep slush or roads caked with ice. I had no excuse I had to do it.....and what do you know? I did! Bring on 7:45 min miles! YES!!!! I was ecstatic! I'm not intending to sound braggy, but just sharing my rejoicing in what I think is a well deserved, much needed milestone/accomplishment. 

Kids behaved again, and I even made a delicious fish dinner (which I've NEVER done before as Justin and I hate fish), and we all loved it!

This morning was a great refreshing run with a good friend and I'm looking towards the remainder of the week with temps in the 40's to 50's! Hallelujah!

I have a 20 mile race at Martha's Vineyard to look forward to this weekend as well! 

Here's to omens.....and hoping it lasts for as long as possible!