Pitter Patter of Little Feet

Now That's What I Call 3-Year Old Personality

The same day we went out for Cadence's 5 year photo shoot I used the opportunity to do Nouvelle's as well.

I left that shoot thinking I probably didn't get one single good shot of her because throughout most of the shoot she was acting like this:

 

Silly silly monkey! 

I remember when Sage turned three. It was like a light switch and all of a sudden photo shoots were so much simpler with her. I guess I was hoping for the same automatic "maturity" from Nouvelle.

No such luck.

She's just a silly gal and intentionally seems to try and sabotage each and every photo.

So I went overkill with trying to get at least ONE good photo of her. And as it turns out, I got a ton of amazing shots of our little chubbers!

 

What a doll. What a ball full of energy. What a ham! What a joy! I simply just LOVE this girl!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What Will Three Bring

You'd think for someone who never wanted my children's birthdays to coincide with major holidays or anniversaries, etc.; and also that I am one of the lucky people who could probably time conception down to the minute....You'd think I would have timed the birthdays of two of my children better. What was I thinking having a child 6 days after another? I guess it didn't help that this little smooshy came like 11 days early!

It seems that even from the day Nouvelle was born she has been trying to keep up and catch up with her sisters.

And for a newly three-year-old I'd say she does very well holding her own!

"Lucky" for me I was already planning on breaking down and letting go of all that I stand for in this world ;) by giving Nouvelle a Cinderella themed birthday; because that is what she ended up asking for! Why does she have to be obsessed with what I consider to be one of the worst Disney princesses ever? Not that I really am found of princesses in general anyway (if you haven't already caught onto this with me). But once again, love makes us do crazy things. And never say never, right?

 

We made sure to get her an oversized cinderella balloon and the first thing she asked was "where's her coach?"

Music to my ears as I had spent the night before making her cake into this:

We went to the library for story/puppet time, where Nouvelle was now just barely old enough to go in by herself. What a thrill that was for her! Then we explored the Historical Farm Museum where Nouvelle in all her gregariousness gathered sticks, dug in the dirt, climbed tractors, pet the sheep and chased after her sisters.

 

I love this little ham! I love her enthusiasm, her zest for life, her humor, her liveliness. She is ever entertaining us, making us laugh, driving us crazy, keeping us on our toes, and making our world just all the more better for being in it! I just love the energy she brings to this family.

Nouvelle believed that a miniture Cinderella was inside the cake and was a bit concerned when we started to cut the cake! I love how these little brains work!

 

I think three years old is one of my favorite ages for little kids. So I'm so glad that we finally get to experience Nouvelle at this enchanting and thoroughly entertaining age. She's already delightful and amuzing enough as it is so I can't wait to see what three brings!

A Simple Easter

When it comes to celebrating holidays I'm not one of these ever growing in number, Ebenezer Scrooges. It seems there are more and more parents who are choosing to abstain from carrying on the traditions of holidays that they themselves grew up loving. I by no means feel like I go over the top with these traditions and festivities, but I DO think that it's important for kids to celebrate holidays - in a way that only children can.

I also feel it's as important for adults to SEE children celebrate these holidays in a way only children can!

I think it is important for children to find the joy and excitement in the festivities of special occasions. It's one of the things that makes childhood magical.

In a world of ever growing troubles, I feel like our children are being forced to grow up sooner than they should. There are few precious years where they have the chance to believe in something magical, to experience a life that is immune or at least ignorant to the crazy world around us. There are few years they have to discover and strengthen their abilities to imagine, daydream, and believe in something simple and perhaps even impossible. I don't think it ruins children to later one day find out that the easter bunny or the tooth fairy were made up characters meant to bring them joy, happiness, and excitement. These are the moments and the parts of childhood that remind us as adults of the perfect characters of children - trusting, loving, happy, pure, innocent, accepting, joyful.

Having said that though, this year we were almost forced to go even simper than usual. First off Easter came just the day after Cadence's birthday. Plus, in our chaos of packing for a 2-3 month temporary living situation as well as putting everything else in a long term storage truck we forgot to keep out the Easter baskets, Easter eggs, and well, everything Easter.

We made due with our simple celebration, but the kids still had a great time, and I was grateful to share in the magic that watching them brings to my holiday as well.

Easter is a time where we celebrate and reflect on the atonement and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Of course this message takes priority at Easter, but for me feeling the joy that children get in looking through easter baskets and searching for eggs a bunny left behind...well, being a part of that joy, of that innocence and pureness...it just makes the message of the gospel of Jesus Christ all the more meaningful and profound to me. Somehow the resurrection of Jesus Christ becomes even more personal as I am watching the pureness of a child, MY child. These magical moments of imagination, simple belief, and enthusiasm in those I love most...makes me even more grateful that we all can be resurrected, and stay together as a family for eternity.

 

I feel like I'm rambling a bit incoherently. Maybe it's the sinus pressure or the side effects of the decongestant I just took, but it all makes perfect sense in my brain....

 

How about I just stop and share a few pictures of our day and call it good.

 

 

(We also forgot to pack Easter shoes, or any spring type of sunday shoe. Oops. Can't think of it all!)

 

p.s. I have plenty of friends who fall into this "Ebenezer Scooge" categroy. I'm sure they know that I'm not judging them and that I still love them to pieces, every bit, no matter what they choose for their family.

 

Happy Easter!

Brand New 5-Year Old, in a Brand New Location

I took the girls out for their birthday photo shoots. Due to some unexpected traffic we were diverted from our original destination and I came up with a spontaneous solution.

I think it was a happy accident.

 

So here's to our brand new 5-year old, Cadence!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Always have to get a grinning shot so as to accentuate her amazing lips - one of her features I've always loved the most!

 

What a beautiful, sweet little girl. I can't believe how big she has grown this last year!

 

Another Year, The Same Obsession

I must admit that I was overcome with dread when Cadence stated that for her cake this birthday she wanted a Rapunzel cake. 

What? No! I already did a Rapunzel cake for her last year! Not to emntion the crazy Rapunzel tower I did for Sage! How could I do a THIRD Rapunzel cake?

Well, seeing as this was the odd year birthday, (we only do big friend's parties on even years) I thought maybe I could find an idea for a mellowed down Rapunzel cake. 

I mean. I should try and grant this simple request, shouldn't I? Or maybe the guilt of tearing Cadence away from the comforts and friends that she finally had found in Boston was eating at me - motivating me to do this again for her!

Here she was in a new place with no new real friends to mention. The least I could do was give her another Rapunzel cake.

 

This is what I compromised on.

 

Needless to say Cadence's infatuation with Rapunzel has spanned the last year.

And she got a Rapunzled-Out birthday for sure. Most gifts ended up being all things Rapunzel. She was in heaven. 

To make the day even better, Grandmere was still in town. We were going to go hiking in the mountains but Cadence chose to go BACK to the zoo for a second day in a row.

So off to the zoo it was.

She mostly wanted to ride the carousel and the train. These were the highlights for her for sure.

We had dinner out at a family favorite

and then came home and devoured this years Rapunzel cake!

I really hope she can find a new obsession before next year. I just don't know if I have another Rapunzel cake in me! Maybe I should start "encouraging" an obsession with painting, or clouds, or something else I can make into a cake for her 6th birthday! ;)

This years birthday was more than plessant. It was perfect. The actvities, the company, the weather, the "speed" of the day, the gifts, the food...everything. Just perfect.

 

Cadence is our sweet little girl still, with a fire and determination brimming in her belly. She's naturally graceful and dainty. But also has the strength and endurance of an ox. She is careful and precise, almost a perfectionist. She is sensitive and loving. Nurturing, independent, and just the perfect ballance to her sisters. 

Our family and our lives are blessed to have her as a part of them.

We love you Cadence. You are going to be t the best 5 year old ever, I just know it!

Rocky Mountain High

 

Denver welcomed us in true form:

Cobalt blue skies and bright, happy sunshine.

 

I must admit that the lack of trees was a shock to the system - almost as much so as it was a shock to my system when I first moved to the East Coast and felt claustrophobic by the amount of trees! I'm sure I'll get used to the wide open spaces again soon enough.

We used our first days to visit the clean and beautiful downtown Denver

and to east some of the food we've missed the most!

 

Running has continued - though it feels more like we're starting running for the very first time.

Running in mile high altitude has proven difficult, if not discouraging. Everyday I hope that it will start to feel easier. It has some, but the fear that I just would't be able to run as fast with so little oxygen is now a reality. I accept this new challenge, and have tried to just focus on enjoying finding new running routes on the miles and miles of trails that weave themselves through the city.

The weather has stayed true to springtime form, as runs have fluctuated between freezing temps, to 70 degree heat, to rain, to so much snow that I had to resort to snowshoes.

The girls were glad to see that there is snow here too, and have had fun playing and sledding.

 

Thankfully, reliable Colorado has remained consistent in granting us sunny blue skies after every storm. One of the many reasons we wanted to come back to Colorado.

 

Lucky for us, shortly after we arrived in Colorado my brother Nick (aka Crazy Uncle Nick) came for a visit.

We loved spending this time with him.

We were hoping that he would find a job and a reason to stay. One of the sad parts of leaving Boston was losing the opportunity for weekend visits with Nick from NYC. We're still holding on to hope that soon enough Nick will find himself closer to us again.

 

Then we had another visit, this time from my mom. While she was here we had a lot of fun. The girls gave us a dance concert, where I'm pretty sure they put on every single dress-up we own.

 

We spent time out in the beautiful weather.

 

Got prepared for Easter

Kool-Aid folks. We used Kool-Aid! So much cheaper and smelt great!

 

and spent the day at the zoo (well actually two, but I'll get to that in my next post! :) )

It's been great having visitors and loved ones to fill our first few weeks here in Colorado. I'm sure this is a sign of things to continue to come; which is also another one of the main reasons we wanted to get back to Colorado.

The people here have been wonderful as well. We have felt completely embraced by our ward as well as the neighborhood. Even knowing that we may only be where we are for a short amount of time, they haven't held back at all, but have been supportive, encouraging, helpful, and 100% engaged and invested in getting us to stay as close as possible!! People here are friendly, laid back and mellow.

But they do drive a little slow for my taste! ;) Oh and I want my Boston 4th lane (aka break-down lane) back during rush hour! Wicked effective!

 

I try not to think too much about the things I miss in Boston. I just try and focus on all that I'm loving about being back in Denver. As our situation is so up in the air right now it's hard to feel completely settled or know what reality is really going to be like when it actually hits us. But once again I'm just going with it. And by going with it I mean: Going on runs in the middle of the day whenever I feel like it. Hanging out at the park with the entire family on the weekdays. Actually having time to do Family Home Evening every week. Leaving the kids with Justin so I can go to the grocery store. Taking the long way home from walking Sage to school. Just enjoying every thing about having our family here together. The girls don't know when Saturday is because that was the day when Dad stayed home from work all day. Well. Every day is now Saturday to them. I think they are confused! :) A great thing to be confused about though.

They have been so happy since we got here. Not that they weren't happy in Massachusetts, but they have just been, well, almost like different girls. The first few weeks here they virtually never fought and listened and obeyed almost perfectly! I thought it may be the lack of oxygen to the brain! Maybe it's the sunshiny skies. Maybe it's the new basement full of different toys. Maybe it's the fact that Justin is always around. Maybe they just know in their pure spirits that this is just where we are supposed to be.

 

Justin continues to look for a job here. We are trying to remain confident that things will work out and we will find something soon. The house we have been staying in has been a blessing for us, but this will come to an end when our friends return from Germany at the end of the month. So, we are still looking for a place to live as well. We are slightly hesitant to commit to anything though, as we don't know where Justin will end up getting a job. It makes for a pretty stressful and anxiety provoking situation.

My private practice is up and ready to go. I just need to fill it with clients. What was I thinking coming to one of the happiest states in the country?! I need more depressed people to establish a thriving practice! :) I have exciting ideas and plans for my future practice as soon as I can get the ball really rolling.

We feel like we are in free-fall still.

But we are trying to enjoy our time and what we do have in the moment and holding on to faith and hope for the future.

We will see! The next month is sure to be an "exciting" one!

The Big Move

Ok....

Now on with March.

As full as February was it was also full of confusion, stress, and anxiety. In fact, our move out of MA was still up in the air up until THE day BEFORE our moving truck was scheduled to arrive at our house. Needless to say, it was an emotional and mental roller coaster.

Some things came up as possible job opportunities in MA for Justin that had to be considered and looked into. This is one of those situations that you don't know how to interpret things. Is it happening "just in the knick of time?" or "not in time enough?" It's one of those things that you can talk circles around yourself and never reach a conclusion, decision or confident feeling. Even knowing what God's will was for us became muddled and confusing. It also made it hard to motivate myself to pack, or even say goodbye to people. Not knowing what our exact reality was going to be left me immobilized!

Luckily I have some amazing people in my life who helped me through it in every way. From showing up at my house to help me pack anyway, to late-late night conversations and priesthood blessings, to taking my mind off of things with goodbye gatherings, and great talks and visits, and fun excursions.

And as wonderful as this was all, it also made it difficult because it just struck me, smack in the face, how much I was going to miss these wonderful people and this wonderful place. 

 

But alas, in the 11th hour we found the peace and direction that we needed, and as much as it broke my heart in two we knew that this was our time to leave. 

 

So, the girls had their last days of school.

All the boxes got packed, the mirrors and furniture got wrapped (thanks to a tiny sized SUPER woman), furniture got moved, the moving truck got crammed with all of our belongings, and not A single thing had to be cleaned when all was said and done *looking for the silver-linings*!

 

Friends came to say "see you later"

(this little guy on the right, Niall, was found crying in his living rooming frantically pushing buttons on his mom's phone. When asked what was wrong he said "I am trying to call Sage to say goodbye one last time but I don't know how to call her!" So he came by for one last goodbye before we pulled out of town. He made sure to wear his best button up shirt! How sweet!)

 

 

 

Nouvelle already misses her little friend Joslyn. She tells me often that she misses "Jwoaswin" and "Elfy," her sister. It's amazing at such a young age that she can understand the emptiness that comes when you leave people that you have come to recognize, rely on, appreciate, and love.

I know this happy and adorable face below is one in particular that I will tremendously miss seeing on a regular basis. (I'm holding out hope that Colorado is calling her home as well! :) )

It's hard moving when you have to leave such amazing people behind. But moving teaches you that there are amazing people everywhere. There will be amazing people in Denver, and I will always hold dear and cherish my friendships in Boston.

I realize that some people come into our lives to bless them for a season, while others will remain with you for longer than a lifetime, no matter the distance.

Some friendships are just meant to survive distance and time.

I've definitely found both kind of friendships in Boston. All special in their own way. All blessings. And some, new life-long friendships as well!

 

We had become buddies with our 7-11 guys at the top of the street. So we had one last Slurpee run. It's funny to say but I'm going to miss seeing them! And they will probably miss the cheesecake and pie I bring them on the holidays! :)

If it looks like I just spent the majority of my 21 mile run crying my eyes out that morning...well...what can I say? I had to get it out sometime.

As I ran, the nostalgia of all that I love about MA just came flooding to my mind, and well, out of my eyes. I cried about how my kids most likely won't even remember living in MA. I cried about the great teachers, schools and classes they are leaving behind. I cried about leaving the wonderful "history" that we have lived among and come to appreciate and learn from. I cried about leaving the lush greenness and thickly forested neighborhoods. I cried about leaving the amazing and rich architecture. I cried about leaving the wonderful people of MA. I cried thinking of all the great memories we have created in this small little state, in a relatively short amount of time. I cried...well about a lot of things. If I hadn't cried I feel it would have been disrespectful to the wonderfulness that is Massachusetts and the life and memories we created there. I had to get it out, so that I could make room for all the greatness that was awaiting us in Colorado.

 

We waved goodbye to the house I abhorred when we first moved in to, and now, three and a half years later had developed a certain fondness for,

and we drove out of town.

 

As we drove away the tears started again. How emotionally confusing. Here I was, finally driving towards the city I had been trying desperately to get back to, and profoundly missing for nearly 6 years, and yet my heart was breaking.

 

Sometimes when God grants us the desires of our hearts, it still hurts.

 

Even though I definitely have some difficult experiences and memories of our time in Boston, and there were certainly trials and challenges during our time there, I tried with all of my might to make more positive memories than negative. I searched for the the things to love and clung onto them.

The fact that I was crying my eyes out as I turned left on I-90 instead of right towards downtown Boston, told me that I had been successful. And for that, I was proud of myself. The tears told me that I truly was able to be the kind of person who looks for the best in things; that makes the most out of the opportunities and situations that are given to me. I love that about myself.

 

And thus commenced the 4 day trip across the country.

We made it to New York in the first day, where I was able to catch up with one of my dearest friends, Missy, and her adorable family.

Her presence helped ease the sting of leaving slightly. Though it also made me realize that I'm going to be further from her as well. :(

 

The next day we made it to Ohio and Justin's parents. Thanks to a nice nap half-way through the trip it was relatively painless traveling alone in a van with the three girls, while Justin followed behind in our car.

We took Sunday as our rest day and spent it with Justin's family and all the cousins from that side of the family.

It was a nice intermission to the trip and good to see family. 

 

The next day it was hitting the road again for two VERY full days of driving. This time though, I had Wendy (aka best-friend a person could ask for, #1 supporter and helper whenever you need it, rock-star human-being) in the car with me, (she had flown in to Cleveland) which helped distract and entertain the girls for the 11-12 hour days we had sitting in a car!

We stopped by Notre Dame for a break...and some slurpees,

 

and we watched the horizon expand,

and the trees turn into fields,

and plains

and the weirdness that is known as the never-ending-state-of-Nebraska

(yes those are hundreds of thousands of birds flying as if on crack-cocaine)

 

The girls were miraculously amazing! I'm talking A-MAZING!!!

I'm sure the chocolate helped,

Oh and the DVD player....

But really they were just 100% ROCK STARS!!!

There was virtually no fighting, and just a pleasant, enjoyable, fun car-trip for thousands of miles!!!

And have I mentioned my kids are amazing!?

 

With each passing mile the pain of leaving Boston slowly eased, and as I pictured the Rocky Mountains that awaited us, I started to feel more and more excitement. 

It was hard for the reality to set in. It just felt like a super-sized road trip. 

 

Until we saw this...

 

and then I started to feel like I was almost home.

And as the Denver skyline came into view I played this song

Almost Home

(you know just for the poetic fanfare)

Let's Pretend it February

I have a few legitimate reasons why I haven't blogged about February yet.

But despite all the obvious ones: packing, moving, traveling, getting settled, finding my bearings, etc. I think the real reason is that I've been avoiding the emotional tug-of-war that it was bound to bring up within me. I didn't know how hard it actually would be to write about our last month in Boston. Every time I would start I inevitably would find an excuse to do something else. And even now I'm fighting that tingly feeling that creeps up your throat, into your nose and eventually your eyes.

*I won't cry, I won't cry, I won't cry.....*

 

*Deep breath*

Ok let's do this thing.

February was definitely a full, full month. Yes very full.

Full of fun; Full of packing, Full of cleaning, Full of lasts and "get them in while you can's"; Full of goodbye's and parties; and Full of service, friendship, and love.

 

Sage had her first swimming Birthday Party. This one was for her favorite Beau - Charlie, or as she likes to call him "Charles." She states that she misses him but that she plans on returning to MA when she's older and marrying him. Ah sweet, young love.

I complicated our lives by forgetting to put plugs in her her ears for this party.Completely spaced her ear surgery in December! Big OOPS. It made for added stress this last month as I had to then cram her into a few different ENT appointments to deal with the repercussions of my absentmindedness. I think she wore her earmuffs for the entire month of February just to ease the pressure, feeling and sound in her ears. Great job mom. Great job. Luckily in the end, just days before we left the state, we finally resolved the issues. Phew.

 

We ate at Boloco for the last time...ok like three different "last" times.... 

Once with just Daddy, once as a girls night out, and once with our best-buddies.

Cadence has already asked to have her birthday dinner at Boloco. The sad thing is Boloco (which stands for Boston Local) is obviously a Boston only restaurant. We will have to find her a satisfactory replacement in Denver. Or maybe it's just our friends company she's looking to recreate.

 

We got hit with a blizzard. The perfect way to help me find reasons to want to leave New England.

However, we had so much fun running on the barren, snow-packed, glistening roads, and playing and sledding in the mountains of snow that it didn't quite work!

 

 

 

And of course no more perfect way to end a day of playing in the snow than pretending to be at the beach....

 

Then in a momentarily laps of reasoning I got stuck in the aftermath of the blizzard. So stuck that the first tow truck couldn't even get to me, the second tow truck couldn't get me out and it took an excavator to pull us both out! Awesome.

 

Cadence also got to go to her first birthday party with friends from school. She felt so special and had such a great time. What a sweetie.

 

We filled our cold days with Valentine's day warmth: Cookies, Crafts, Food, and Friends.

Though there are some V-day haters out there, Valentine's Day is the worlds way of getting through February. I'm sure of it.

 

One of the things I have discovered and LOVED about New England was the fruit picking farms! We literally had a freezer full of pounds and pounds of blueberries, strawberries, and blackberries. It made me sick to think of throwing them away or even giving them away when we moved. So a dear, sweet friend came over and helped me make jars and jars of jam! I will be eating the fruits of New England for months and months now! A great way to *preserve* some of our memories!

 

In the middle of the month I was scheduled to run a 20 mile race. As training had taken a side step during the chaos of the month I just about bowed out. But I *thought* it would be a fun trip to Martha's Vineyard with the family. If the weather had cooperated it may have been. The kids did love the ferry ride to the island. So there's that at least.

But once we got there the freezing temps also turned into rain and snow and wind. It turned out to be a miserable day. But probably more so for me than for them.

After the start,

the race just got more and more miserable. I don't think I've ever ran a race with such crappy conditions. It was windy, and for a few miles of the race we were running on sand, snow and ice covered trails. The wind picked up and the rain started. The rain turned to freezing rain, which turned to hail, which turned back to freezing rain which turned to snow - all blasting into my face. The trail was freezing literally right under my feet as I ran on it. There were a few miles between like 10 and 16 that felt great despite the weather, but then it was just torture. I just kept telling myself the faster I ran the sooner this would be over. So glad to see the finish line.

It wasn't hard to run this course faster than the first time I ran it as a training run 2 years ago. But it definitely wasn't a PR for my 20 mile distance races. It was however, fast enough to put me first in my age division. I didn't really feel like I excelled in this race so the "win" was only have heartedly appreciated. I know. I'm ungrateful. But it's just more important to me how I feel I did than how I actually did. If that makes any sense. There will be no opportunity for redemption on this race so I will just have to accept it and move on! :)

Justin was also supposed to have a last New England race and was signed up for a half marathon. But with the stress of getting our life together this month we thought it would be wiser to stay home and pack, organize and figure things out. Though I'm sad he didn't get one last New England race in like I did, I think it was the right decision.

 

Our last day in our Haitian ward was so emotional. I have loved singing the hymns in french and as we started in on the first song the tears were definitely flowing. Though being in this ward had its challenges it has been such a blessing serving with the great people of Haiti. I will miss their enthusiasm, their love and warmth, their passion for the gospel, their generosity, their kindness and their friendship. And in true Haitian form they canceled the last two hours of church to throw us a farewell party - with a Haitian spread of food, sheet cake and all.

 

They made speeches, they made us give speeches. Tears were shed, hugs were shared and "A la prochaine" was all I could say to find comfort. After our time with our Haitian friends and all that they brought to our lives, I feel now a bit like the piece of cake I got at the party. 

Not meant to be racist, but just a bit apropos. White but with a bit of Haitian left in me. :)

We felt that this was a way to fulfill some of God's will in our lives and we feel He has blessed us for our service and sacrifice. These wonderful people are near and dear to my heart and will be missed.

 

In the last weeks a friend and I braved Disney on Ice alone with the kids. Though it was semi hectic getting there, it was completely worth it. The girls were enthralled!! And yes I even let them dress up like princesses! What has this world come to!?

Nouvelle couldn't look away! The left over tears in her eyes are from the said hectic above. She soon recovered and was thoroughly entertain the entire show.

 

We had some magnificent crepes with some magnificent people. I know Olivia from my mission in Belgium. We didn't see her nearly enough while we lived in Boston, and it is sad that now the option to will be no longer. Olivia holds a special place in my heart. Beh oui, uh? :)

Moving sure makes you realize that you need to make the most of your opportunities and the people you care about while you have the chance. Don't take things, and even more so, people for granted. Cherish them while you have the chance.

 

We had one last go at sledding

How can you beat this scenery? Ah New England. You beguiling mistress.

 

We had one last indulgence with the best Boston Creme ANYWHERE. For this Boston Creme snob, trust me. Dunkin Donuts takes the cake....or rather donut, if you will.

 

And then we spent the last day of the month commencing the packing extravaganza with our favorite Missionaries ever - the "Hatianaries"

For being the shortest month of the year it sure was crammed packed!

As I said, so so full. My heart as we hit March was full as well. But I'll get to that....

And Then There was January

We rang in 2013 with a few friends at precisely 8:42pm. So accurate and official! Oh yes we were sloshed on sparkling cider for sure! It was a fun and simple night. I don't get into New Years that much, but I always am up for a good night where the kids can run around and have fun and I can catch up with friends and eat good food!

Given December's events I know that 2013 is going to bring a lot of change, adventure, challenges, and surprises. But I feel like I am ready. Ready to take on this year and all that it has to offer.

 

Yes. I'm ready.

Even if 2013 means WAY too much snow.

Because too much snow means snowballs, sledding, and hours of fun for the kids.

The girls love sledding and playing in the snow and would stay out there until there is virtually no sunlight left if I let them. 

 

Yes. I'm ready.

Even if the year starts off making me run in freezing cold temperatures, snow, slush and ice.

Winter conditions make me mentally stronger and definitely bring a new challenge to running.

I was volunteering with my running club for our New Years Day 5k. About an hour before the race I decided, "What the heck? I guess I'll run this thing!" I came in third place overall. Not bad for racing in the middle of a racing "sabbatical!" ;)

 

Yes. I'm ready.

Even if it means the blasted 2013 winter weather brings us blasted winter flu bugs.

Sick and miserable means a few more cuddles than normal with these little cuties!

 

Yes. I'm ready.

Even if that means in a few months the house I'm living in will be torn down to be turned into this...

 

That just means when we move out we don't have to worry about cleaning a thing!

 

Yes. I'm ready.

Even if 2013 takes me away from Boston and I have to leave all the amazing things in New England that I have come to appreciate and yes, even love.

That means I get the opportunity to return to some other things that I have missed and longed for for almost 6 years; things that I love in a different way but certainly just as much!

 

Yes. I'm ready. Or at least I think I'm ready...

Ready to go back to work full-time while my husband is unemployed.

That means that I am lucky enough to have a degree and a profession that can contribute to our family in our time of need. I'm blessed to have the health, ability, and state of mind to be able to be a working mom.

 

Yes. I'm ready.

Even if that means leaving schools, classes and groups that my children have come to love and grow immensely from.

  

 

Opportunities are everywhere. Children are resilient.

 

Yes. I'm ready??

Even if that means leaving friends and people that I love, appreciate, depend on and learn from.

 

But I believe true friendship can survive distance. And new friends will be found. What's that song I sing to my children?

"Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold."

 

Yes. I'm ready.

Even if 2013 means major change.

 

Change is hard, even when it's for our good. But change is good, and above all I get to determine what I do with that change. No matter what is out of my control I will always be in control of me, my feelings, my thoughts, my actions. I can create whatever I want with what I am given. I can turn change into almost anything!

Viktor Frankl said, “ ..everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstance, to choose one’s own way.” Wonderfully put and so true!

 

Thankfully I am a resilient, strong and courageous person. Does that mean I'm not scared or stressed? No. Of course I am. I'm human after all. But I also have faith that it will be ok. I know we will be ok because I get to decide what I do with these challenges/opportunities. It doesn't mean it won't be hard. It doesn't mean that I won't struggle, and yes I've even spent a day or two crying about it...but I...we, will be ok. Really. Things could be so much worse.

 

Sure we are getting kicked out of our house. Sure my husband is losing his job. Sure we don't know when he will ever find another one in this economy.

But I truly believe the saying 

"Sometimes when things are falling apart they are really falling into place."

We've been missing Colorado since the second we drove away from it 5 1/2 years ago. We've wanted to get back there someday. Why not now?

I am surprised that a large part of myself actually doesn't want to leave Boston. I'm sad to leave, but also excited to return to a place Justin and I both love.

 

We are excited and nervous. Happy and anxious.

It's a lot like what I imagine it would feel like to go parachuting. 

We've boarded the plane, anticipating a fun, new, exciting adventure! It's a mix of emotions. Leaving the comfort and familiarity of the solid ground that I have come to rely on and feel comfortable on. But also exhilaration at the new experience that awaits.

 

We are waiting to make the jump!

 

Now let's just pray the parachute opens!

I'm fine free falling for awhile. But it sure would be nice if we don't completely land flat on our face! :)

 

Here's to new adventures and to whatever 2013 holds in store for us!

I'm *mostly* ready for it!

December...Where do I Even Begin

I'm SO behind in blogging. December. Oh December. 

December hit us from all sides. I've kind of been thrown into a tail spin and just now am starting to get my wits about me again. 

So to get this down for personal family history sake I will have to keep it to more concise bullet points, and any emotion or extra elaboration will have to come later...if I'm feeling up to it.

 

Just before December we went downtown to the Frog Pond and had a nice (and cold) evening of ice skating.

The girls loved it and Justin was in his element once again. I don't love ice skating that much any more, but I do love that they love it. I did my duty and went a few times around with each girl, then my ankle was shot and I was done! I love that we were in beautiful downtown Boston enjoying the wonderful wintertime festivities!

We followed it up with mint hot coco and a great mexican restaurant with new friends.

 

Dec 1st we got our Christmas tree

I wanted to chop our own tree down this year, but it just wasn't going to happen. 

 

Dec 3rd we got an eviction notice in the mail from our rental company, as they will be tearing down our entire street to rebuild luxury town-homes.

They gave us until January 1st to be out the the house.....

I'll let you stew on that for a moment.....

Merry Christmas. Yea right.

Dec 4th we confirmed that Justin would most likely be getting laid off in Feb or March from his job.

Stew some more....

Merry, Merry Christmas. Hardly.

 

Dec 15th the girls met Santa

 

Dec 17th we celebrated Justin's Birthday...as much as someone can when they are freaking out about the future and money and insurance and the kids school and, and, and, and.....

The girls wanted to get him balloons. Blue. His favorite. You know because obviously no birthday could ever be complete without balloons!

Luckily, Justin isn't that into big social birthday celebrations so he wasn't disappointed when I had to bag all the fun ideas I had for his birthday due to money and stress.

We celebrated at home with some homemade Boston Creme Pie cupcakes instead. Hardly something to be disappointed with! :)

I think he was just fine with that.

I made him this shirt. And by "made him", I mean saw it on-line somewhere but couldn't find the place that sold it so I redesigned it my way and had it printed at some shop.

It's pretty rockin'.  Pun intended.

 

Dec 18th Sage had surgery on her adenoids and tubes put in her ears. She was so positive and brave through the entire thing. I was so proud of her. She is one awesome girl! 

Cadence wanted to surprise her when she got home from the hospital with flowers. Red. Her favorite. What sweet children I have.

Somewhere between Dec 1st-24th we made buche de noel's, sugar cookies, my famous licorice toffee, peppermint patties, lollipops, and many many other delicious treats!

 

Dec 24th was Christmas Eve of course.

We spent it with friends. We put on our own personal chimes concert with the kids. They did surprisingly well! What a fun and relaxing night! Normally on Christmas Eve I put together a huge fondu spread. I just wasn't feeling it this year. So I let the tradition go this once and we had Chinese Take-Out.

We were all very excited about Christmas. Christmas is so much fun with kids!!!

 

Dec 25th Christmas. It was quiet and simple. Though we missed the rest of our family and all the sounds, foods, and sights that go along with having them to celebrate with, it was nice in it's own way to just be us. With just the 5 of us we are reminded of the joys in the small and simple things. It helped me to envision the future Christmases we will have as our family gets older and our girls bring boyfriends, then husbands and then children and grandchildren to our home. I can't wait for all the years to come! I love my little family!

 

Dec 27th I left Justin with the kids and went out to Utah for my sisters wedding.

It was fun to have an excuse to get dressed up and even better to see all of my siblings in one place at one time! It was so fun goofing off with them and being the crazy family that we are. I've got some awesome brothers and sisters! We're excited that Brandon is the newest brother in the fam!

 

I enjoyed the short time in Utah with my mom and sister as well as some of my best girl friends on this earth!

Dec 30th I got back into town. Technically we were supposed to be out of our house two days later....

 

But I'll get to that.

Later. 

 

Though December took my brain and shook it up a bit (ok, a whole lot) we still managed to enjoy the month. 

I have an amazing family. I love them beyond words. 

 

So from the Marshall's, though it's quite belated....

Merry Christmas.

I hope your lives are as full of love as ours is!

Wild Turkey Run

Finally.

We made it.

After a year of running in the Salem Wicked Series we made it to the last race!

The debate was do we run it with the stroller or try and see if some kind soul would be willing to tend for us on Thanksgiving morning? 

Run with the stroller and there's no pressure.

Run with the stroller also means though, that I can't uphold this amazing running/winning streak I had established for myself.

But run without strollers means pressure. It means trying to measure up when I felt run down.

 

We opted for the kind soul.  And I didn't sleep at all the night before because of the anxiety it created! :)

 

A chilly morning found us in Salem once again. And off we went.

We both ran as well as we could, and pushed ourselves about as hard as we could. The cool weather worked to our advantage thankfully. But then again it also worked to everyone else's advantage! I pushed along in the 5 mile race passing a few girls but not knowing exactly where I was overall. Towards the end I had my sights on one more girl that I just knew I would never catch. But I slowly creeped up on her and as I turned the corner and realized I had like 100 yards to the finish line I kicked it into a gear I didn't know I had in me!  Seriously I was FLYING!!! And in the last like 10 yards flew right past her! Man I wish I had that finish on film! I was hauling!

I don't run races to beat people. Really. I don't. But I do have to admit, it felt great to push past her in those last yards and finish off in an explosive way!

Justin did really great too and came in very close behind me! Way to finish it off respectably!

 

And as it turns out I came in 4th over-all and 1st in my age division!

 

We got a cool Adidas running jacket with the race series logo on it for completing the entire series. The bummer/major GRIPE? These things never fit. They are always too big! They nearly NEVER offer women's sizes or men's XS sizes.

So you could say that if I ran this blasted series just for the jacket it was a waste. Good thing it wasn't my main motivation for completing the series. I'm still bummed and bugged though. I opted for a trade-in and got the running hat (which was supposed to go to the people who completed the entire series munus one race).

Lame lame lame.

To all those race directors out there....(you know 'cause there's SO many race directors reading this blog - not) do all us women runners a favor......please? Offer women's sizes or XS men sizes at the very least! Women generally comprise more than 1/2 of the running field. Why not cater to them just a little bit!?

Word.

Fattman, not to be confused with Fat. Man.

Sometimes I wonder if Justin would keep running if it weren't for me. When he decided to sign up for the Fattman Chilly Half Marathon again this year it was the reassurance that I needed that he actually does do this whole running thing for himself! I love that.

He tried to convince me to sign up with him. He tried to convince me to sign up for my own half marathon within a few weeks of his. In the end he even tried to persuade me to run the Chilly Half in his place. No, no, and NO.

I am still on a "break."

He had a very busy and stressful month of October and part of November. Running happened, but not as much as he would have liked. He probably did start to feel like a fat. man. He had to reevaluate his goals for the race and come to terms with the fact that he most likely wouldn't PR. He was willing to settle with at least running this one faster than his time in last years race, as well as faster than his half marathon this last Sep. 

I did end up running with him, but more as a pacer or rather just moral support.

"I'm a [pacer] I [pace] people!"

I actually don't think I really succeed as a pacer. I was so tired that day there were times in those first few miles where I was worried that if he went any faster I wouldn't be able to keep up. Thankfully once I finally warmed up around mile 6 I felt like I could actually pull him along. I tried to distract him with stories etc, and that seemed to help him until like mile 9, when he didn't want to hear a single word from me at all!

"Yeah, you don't need to keep talking" heaved Justin at mile 12. :) 

He did say though, that it was just nice to be able to actualy run a race with me for once. It's  been awhile since we've been "able" to stay with each other. And I admit, it was nice to "run a race" and just be chill there with him - together.

Like he thought, he didn't PR. But he pretty much met his other goals. I've been trying to make him see that, that is amazing considering he had been sick, tired, stressed, overworked and not seriously training for the past two months! Not to mention that this race is on one mother hilly course! I think I might have convinced him. But I kind of doubt it seeing as he's already looking for races to redeem himself on! :)

Minute Man

On a slightly chilly but beautiful day we went as a family to the Minute Man Trail. Ever since hitting a small bit of it with Wendy I wanted to go back. We took some new friends and had fun strolling along. We still didn't finish the entire thing, but now I have another reason to go back! There's so many cool things to do here in Boston! I got to make sure to get them all in if I can!

 

 

Blasted Barnacles I'm a Month Behind

Halloween!!

 

Yes still playing catch up. But I'll get there!

I am forever resisting this princess inclination of little girls so when Cadence once again said she wanted to be a princess for Halloween I cringed. Not wanting to be TOO much of a stickler I compromised.

"How about the Pirate PRINCESS?" (Emphasis on princess)

She bought into it; and it was an easy sell from there, as Sage has been slightly obsessed with Jake and the Neverland Pirates this year.

It also seemed a bit serendipitous since Nouvelle is basically the female version of Cubby!

 

We threw together some different outfits, cut up some cheap skirts from walmart, and then fabricated a few vests out of T-shirts and - voila!

I present Jake and the Neverland Pirates!

Justin was Jake and I was Captain Hook

 

Sage was Izzy

 

Cadence was the pirate princess (yes an actual character)

 

and Nouvelle was Cubby

 

Cutest little pirates ever! And thankfully pretty simple costume preparation this year! Yo-Ho Way to go!

 

We were SO glad that hurricane Sandy didn't ruin Halloween! We all had a great time trick or treating. I think I could have gone all night! :) Sage is already thinking of costume ideas for next year! That's my girl. Halloween on the mind all year!

Devil Chase Take 3

Remember way back when we just moved to Boston and Justin and I ran the Salem Devil's Chase with the two girls (third in utero)? We had a blast then. I LOVE Halloween. I LOVE running. I LOVE my family. I LOVE dressing up in costumes. How could I not love this race? We've done it a few times now and had to come back again this year. I say "had to" for two different reasons. 1- because we DO love this particular race - all those devils running around salem is so apropos. But this year reason 2 was a big contributor. This race was part of the series we have been running. After peaking around the marathon last month and taking some much needed cut back from running, I don't know if I would have ended up running this race if it hadn't been part of the series I'm trying to complete. I've just been tired and plain beat!!

 

But here we were doing it! So, we all got dressed up as devils and headed up to Salem the weekend before Halloween for the fun 6.66 Devil's Chase!

 

 

It was great that my friend was in town and could watch our kids so we could actually run this race without the strollers. This convenience comes with one down side....Without a stroller I then put pressure on myself to truly RACE. Once again though, I found myself not feeling prepared for racing mentally, and now physically as well.

Justin and I started the race off together with the pretense that I would just run whatever I could and we would see if that kept us together or not.

It was only about a half mile later that I found myself separated from Justin.

 But we managed just fine on our own.

I didn't know how well I was doing and I didn't really care. I was "racing" but enjoying myself as well.

That is until I got to a turn around point at mile 3 or so and I was able to see how many girls were in front of me.

This is where I realized that I was actually in second place.

 Hmmm?

That came as a surprise. I was feeling ok, but didn't know if I could actually catch up to the girl in first place. I didn't make that my goal per se, but just kept self focused and pushed myself as hard as I thought I could to know that I had given it my all - whatever that might be.

But then I found myself gaining on her; probably due to some slowing on her part and some extra bit of juice left in me. And with about a mile left I was very close behind. I actually didn't know if I wanted to pass her. After all, who wants to win another trophy? ;) But then I realized I wasn't going to qualify to win any special devil's award - since at the last minute Justin had talked me out of running with a pitch fork (You are required to run with horns, a tail and a pitchfork to qualify for the special devil awards).

I guess I wanted to see if I could win first place after all. If I couldn't win first as a devil then I guess I really wanted first overall.

So with a bit less than a half mile left I started to pass her. But she kept at me and passed me again. I stayed on her heels and with about .25 miles left I passed her and left her behind;

Taking first overall the females!

One of these days I'll stop surprising myself.

(*read* One of these days when I expect to not do well I actually will. But I'm enjoying this "surpassing my expectations" thing so I'll enjoy it while I can!)

Way to be number one! Yes I'm extremely proud of myself. I didn't have the best time and was just lucky that no one faster ended up showing up this year. But I'll still drink from my winnings with pride!

 

Justin did the best he could as well, especially considering he had fallen behind in his running even more than I had and was under a lot of stress and rigorous hours at work. I think he did quite well. I think he would tell you different, but any time we run and he gives it his all, regardless of time etc. I am extremely proud of him!

 

This guy has ran every year we've participated! I love his commitment! Now that's a devil costume! Think I could talk Justin into running it next year like this?

I must admit I'm a bit bugged that I didn't win the first female devil award. They got that cool brown pitchfork you see he's holding as well as a cash prize. Ah well. I guess I can have a goal now for next year! :)

Fall Visitors

This fall we have kept very busy. Thus why I am like 2 months behind in blogging.

We had a quick and fun visit with my amazing brother Nick. It was so great staying up late talking, playing games, talking, talking and talking. As well as just enjoying being around each other!

The girls LOVE when "crazy Uncle Nick" comes into town and we miss him so much when we can't see him (especially for Thanksgiving and Christmas *sniff sniff*).

 

After his visit we had our trip to Utah for our marathon and then soon after my bestest girl friend came into town for a 10 day turned 2 week visit. (Thank you Hurricane Sandy!)

 

We were so busy I almost can't remember everything that we did, but I'll give you some of the highlights.

 

We spent a day at Sturbridge Village. I can't believe we hadn't been there before. We all loved it and really can't wait to go back sometime!

 

Yes we know who really wears the skirt in the relationship! ;)

 

 

 

 

We enjoyed the fall leaves and New England scenery and spent an afternoon at Wellesely College and I was surprised when my girls all walked around the entire Lake Waban!

 

 

 

We carved pumpkins and ate pumpkin spice cookies to our hearts content!

(I love how each face - personally created by each child - reflects their personality.

L - R Nouvelle - you can't tell but it is a pretty silly pumpkin in the light, Cadence - Just plain sweet, and Sage - Super crazy!

 

We touched a small portion of the Minute Man Trail and the Old North Bridge for a bit of New England history.

(love these huge New England leaves)

 

Fall festivities continued with some apple picking fun, though the real fun for the girls was the playground before hand!

 

 

 

But I'm telling you! These apples were quite something! Huge! Delicious! Wonderful!

 

Afterwards we continued to work up an appetite by going downtown and enjoying the magnificent streets of Boston, as well as a merry-go-round!

 

 

So naturally we HAD to head to the North end for some classic Boston Pizza at Regina Pizzeria and a little fun tasting competition between Mike's and Modern Pastry.

With the winner being Mike's!!

 

 

We went downtown again another day to enjoy the nice weather at the Public Gardens. I just love downtown Boston!

 

Then over the weekend we headed up to Salem. Justin and I ran our funnest race of the year the Devil's Chase (more to come on that later) and then spent the rest of the day taking in the fun festive spirit of Salem, with all the halloween freaks such as myself (though I would argue that many of the people there a bit more freaky than me!)

And before heading out of town we drove around Marblehead and saw Boston off in the distance. Such a beautiful area. Well, let's face it. It's just a beautiful state.

 

We were supposed to go to Plymouth and Rhode Island, but the hurricane got in the way of that. But I'm telling you we were so busy and had so much fun I can't even capture half of it! We truly loved having Wendy in town. We so wish we could live closer and we immediately felt her absence once she left. 

Good, true friends are hard to come by. I'm so lucky to have found probably one of the best friends out there! 

 Come back soon Wendy!

 

Halvies

So lucky for me my kids have birthdays 6 months apart and seeing as I like to take portraits of my kids when they are "halvies" as well it works out conveniently for me! A lot of the time I can go out and get all three kids shots taken in one fail swoop.

*sometimes*

I got a few of the other girls while we were out doing Sage's and I also got a few of them together.

So with out further ado.

 

Cadence at 4 1/2

 

 

 

And Miss Nouvelle at 2 1/2

 

 

And the three gals all together

 

 

These are some of my fav's. I love photos of all of them together. I guess 'cause I hope that they will remain as close as they are now...or at the very least, after they have a few years of hating each other, they return to the type friends that never go away...SISTERS.

 

The skipping hand in hand was totally unsolicited on my part.

I love they my girls are such great friends!

 

Don't Worry, I Didn't Forget About Her

A few months ago *cringe* was Sage's 6th birthday. I have been trying to get her 6 year photo shoot in. But between doing shoots for other people, visitors, holidays, trips, and school starting it has been a challenge. The advantage of being my own photographer is that I can go on multiple shoots (and multiple outfits for that matter) if I am left unsatisfied by the first attempts. But the challenge of being my own photographer is that I have other things in my life that distract me and get in the way! Now months later I am finally compiling the BEST OF Sage at 6 years old!!

Here she is in all of her spunk, enthusiasm, joy, passion, love, and independence!

 

 

 

 

 

Sage's loves this pink skirt. She calls it her bubble gum skirt and just could NOT stop twirling around in it!

I love seeing this exuberance for life, the reckless abandon, and carefree spirit. Oh to be a child again....

Yep my first baby is 6.

Still as beuatiful and amazing as the ever, and still loved WAY beyond measure!

St. George

8 years ago I got to marry this guy!! How lucky am I? Well you have no idea. So lucky.

 

If you'd asked him then if he'd ever be doing this

 

He would have laughed in your face.

 

In 8 years we've had our challenges and we've had our triumphs; we've endured the journey as well as enjoyed it; we've both had moments where we wanted to give up but were later grateful that we didn't. And I'm sure that in the eternities to come we will have plenty more of these feelings. Such is the nature of marriage.

Sounds kind of like the nature of running.

Once again running is a pretty good analogy to marriage. A lot of of things in life can be compared to running, right? Marriage is like one long glorious training season!

It's not always easy, it takes a lot of work, dedication, and sacrifice. It can burn you out and rejuvenate you at the same time. It is immensely rewarding, especially if you've put in the work! It's something you have to keep consistently up on or it will deteriorate and atrophy. But keep at it and it just gets stronger and stronger. But more or less I've shared this analogy before..... You get the point.

It took me 4 years of marriage to convince Justin to try running. I don't know what finally got him to give in.

My tears? arguments? desperation? conviction? cellulite?

Whatever it was I'm so glad he finally conceded. It has been awesome for both of us, for our marriage and our lives. 

 

It started with training for a 5k that actually ended up being a 10k, and gradually built from there. The rest is history.

And so here we are.

Awhile back we thought of entering the lottery to run the St. George marathon. That was like 9 months ago. We were surprised to get in! It seemed so far away. And now I find that the day has come and gone! Wow.

We opted to leave the kids in Boston and head out on our anniversary weekend alone.

After an exhausting and stressful night of flying we finally arrived in Vegas at like 3am (Boston time). At least once we got to bed we didn't have kids waking us up throughout the night or early in the morning!

We tried to relax on Friday and just take it easy. The expo is always a fun and energizing thing to be at. This one was particularly exciting as I was told to go and pick up my packet at a very special table!!

 

 

Hahaha! Well if that isn't an ego boost before a race I don't know what is! ;) (I guess it was my projected finish time that qualified me as "elite" - but don't worry, I know that I'm really not! None-the-less, it was a fun feeling and fun joking about it for a couple of days with my family and friends!)

My parents and my best friend made the trip all the way down from SLC to support us and it was wonderful seeing them and spending some time with them! We had fun at the expo and then we all went carb loading at the Brick Oven for my and Justin's anniversary! Happy Anniversary to us!!

 

 

After our half marathon two weeks prior, I had been feeling completely prepared for this race. That was until I tweaked my back on Monday. To make sure it was healing and to minimize the chance of it flaring, I had to miss some of my last runs before the race. This did some damage to my psyche. I was nervous about what my back would do during the race. Turns out, my back was the least of my worries! :/

Justin also didn't know quite what to expect as he had taken longer to recover from the illness that hit us all and he had missed quite a few runs these past weeks. But after trying to get a good nights sleep, there we were at 4 am, loading a bus to the starting line.

  

 

They had some fires to keep us warm.

 

Another awesome surprise was that I got to start with the elite runners, so I didn't have to push my way through the crowds of 7,500 runners! How awesome was that? So awesome.

 

So Justin and I weren't able to start the race together but we were prepared to run our own races anyway. Probably better that he didn't have to try resist staying up with me at the beginning of the race and having it blow things for him later.

It was a dark start, and admittedly, I was lonely without Justin. My first two miles were right on pace, and I was feeling ok, but suddenly I noticed a cramp forming in my right lower calf muscle. I tried to ignore it, I tried to positive think it away...but I think deep down I knew I was in trouble. It just gradually got worse with each mile. I worked my way up a massive hill at mile 7. Wow. I really underestimated the effect the altitude would have on me going up that hill! Phew! By about mile 8 or 9 I developed another rather bothersome cramp, this time in my right quad. My right leg was falling apart! I realized that no amount of positive thinking was going to fix it and I just prayed that serious pain would delay as long as possible.

Sometimes during races I get to the point where I power through the pain by telling myself I only have to hang on for like 20 more minutes, or maybe even just 7. This time, I started this "trick" when I knew I still had more than 2 hours left of running. Yeah. 2 more hours of pain wasn't a comfort for me. The trick didn't quite work like it normally does!

I must say it was a beautiful course, and I tried to distract myself by looking around and enjoying the scenery. Family and friends were waiting at mile 16 and that invigorated me for like and *whole* 1/2 mile! Then my legs just started to fall apart. Soon enough I had a cramp in my left quad as well. 

Many of my family and friends know that for me, stopping while running, especially during a race, is one of the greatest abominations - to be avoided at ALL costs. Yes, I've even peed myself to avoid stopping. I tell you this to really drive home the point of how badly my legs were hurting. During this race, I stopped twice at the aid stations to have my legs rubbed down with Icy Hot. Yes TWICE. Oh the shame of it. But yes, that is just how bad my legs were hurting. Obviously it didn't make them stop cramping, but it made the pain just barely tolerable to keep running those last 8 miles or so.

I really had to dig down deep to keep going and to force myself to not let my pace slow too much. I came across the finish line exactly in the middle of my time goal window and with an amazing new PR.

 

Justin had a tough race as well. It started out well for him and at mile 16 he was still feeling pretty good. So much can change in 2 miles though. At mile 18 he hit the wall and it took all he had to continue on moving and not stop, but he made it. He finished slower than his goal time but still a PR by a large margin. 

 

 

I am thrilled with the outcome of this race. But, I must admit I am deeply disappointed that I didn't get to take advantage of the huge down hills of this course like I thought I was going to be able to. I think one of my greatest strengths as a runner is going downhill, and I don't feel like I got to use this specific skill at all during the race. The pain in my legs was just too great and present for just too long for me to be able to rip down those hills. I didn't expect this race to be easy by any means. I mean how could running 26.2 miles ever be easy? But I guess I just didn't think I would suffer quite as much this time around. But hey, I'll take running a marathon with leg cramps over running with bronchotis any day!

 

These have to be the coolest medals we've ever gotten for finishing a race! I'm in LOVE with them! Each one is different and made of the unique rock found in southern Utah! LOVE!

 

I really don't know what went wrong with my legs. I've never experienced something quite like that while running.

Was it the altitude? The missed runs during the week? Dehydration (though I had focused very strictly all week on keeping hydrated)? The traveling? What? I wish I could know. Any smarty pants out there want to enlighten me?

If I ever did this race again I think I would only do it if I were training/living at altitude. Or if I could figure out/learn how to avoid whatever was up with that premature cramping! But you never know! I may just do it again for the cool medals :) and to take vengence on those blasted leg cramps!!

It *only* took like 3 days to be able to *kind of* walk normal! :) I'm sure being cramped into cars and airplanes for 12 hours the next day didn't help! 

I'm officially burned out and peaked out. I have a few small races to finish off the year and then we'll see. I am acepting that I will lose some of the speed I've developed over the past year, but I just need to step back for a bit. I need to run with no agenda, I need to get a reprieve from training programs. I also need a way to survive what I'm afraid is going to be another horrible winter of running through too! I'll need to find some race to train for eventually, but let me rest for a bit first! :)

Congrats to me and Justin! So proud of us!

Wicked {bad} 5 seconds or Wicked {good} 7 minutes?

I guess it depends on how you look at it. 

But I'll get to that in a minute.

 

It's been an entire year since I raced in a half marathon. That seems crazy to me. I've been too busy with marathons, and ultra marathons, and these lung bleeding 5 and 10k's!

Since moving to Boston the only half marathon's I've raced in have all been the same race - the Salem Wicked Half Marathon. 

This year we did it again. 

 

 

My running goals this summer were:

1. Don't let the heat and humidity slow me down. I didn't expect to get any faster but I just wanted to maintain as much of my speed as possible.

2. Prepare with tenacity for my fall marathon. No excuses. 100%.

and

3. Try to not burn out in the process.

 

I can't say that I met any of these goals.

 

After many, many, MANY months of unceasing training for race, after race, after race...., burn-out has actually been quickly consuming me. And the hot, humid summer months were pulling me and my pace down (in a pool of dripping sweat, I might add). Many days I was doing the training just to do it, not with much enthusiasm or joy, just meeting my "obligations" (trying to succeed at goal #2). 

Once again I approached a race with a whole lot of apprehension and without much direction. Not to mention while Justin was in China for a week we ALL got sick. I was faced with the dilemma the week and a half before this race of what would do more harm or good? Missing runs? Or running while sick? Keep in mind my main goal (the marathon) was looming just two weeks past this half marathon . What would help me run the half marathon well, but not deplete me for the marathon? And what would help me in preparing for my true end goal, the marathon?

See this is why I probably should be paying for a personal trainer. 

More often than not I opted for missing runs these past weeks. Race week I actually missed three. Psychologically it was eating me up. Physically I do think it helped me recover. 

The night before the race I finally allowed myself to try and set some pace goals for the race. After attempting this for about an hour I gave up and went to bed. I guess I would just leave it at: I would like to PR but not screw myself for the marathon in two weeks. How's that for specific?

That night I had a dream that I finished in 1:31. When I woke up I didn't even know if that made sense for me, but during the race I decided it would be pretty cool if  "my dream came true" so to speak. I wasn't paying much attention to my watch and was just running by feeling so whatever was going to happen was going to happen. 

It was a very humid day, but thank heavens it wasn't too warm, and the foggy air at least blocked the sun. During the last few miles of the race there was actually a nice misting rain. Thank goodness for that. 

I forced myself to hold back the first half and was able to have enough to speed things up the second half. I had a great kick at the end, and still felt like I left some in reserve (hopefully for the marathon in two weeks). I sprinted across the finish line, stopped my watch and saw my time...

 5 seconds too slow to make my dream a premonition! ;)

Wicked wicked 5 seconds! What a major bummer. 

My consolation is knowing that I didn't allow myself to run it as full-out as I could have.

 

Also on the "glass half full" side of things. I PR'ed by 7 minutes. A wicked 7 minutes!

 

Justin also ran this race again and despite being sicker than me, met his goal which was to not do it any slower than last year's. He didn't PR, but racing at the end of summer is a very different beast than racing in the winter or early spring. His successes also include no dry heaving, no cramping, and not going out too fast in the beginning. He is a more experienced half marathoner than me. His experience is serving him well! I think I need to put a few more half marathons on my docket.

 This race did a lot of good for me.

It pushed a reset button on my physical and mental block. It gave me the psychological confidence that I had kind of lost throughout this summer. I'm more assured that I am ready for this marathon. I don't know exactly how fast I'll be able to run it, but I feel ready, and I know I'm looking forward to the fun as well as the challenge of racing a marathon. I even feel prepared to suffer a little bit during the race! :) 

A little more than a week left! Tapper week nearly complete. Anxiously awaiting carb loading week. Now if anyone has any helpful hints on quickly overcoming jet lag, that would be much appreciated. Also a magical elixir to override the effects of altitude would be greatly appreciated!!

I'll keep ya posted! Wish us luck!